Obsessive-Compulsively Ruining My Nail Polish

My sick idea of romance

2011-09-10T00:34:00.000-05:00

Lies somewhere in this story...

“What about a household accident? You know—Death by Toaster, something like that?” My best friend asked, chewing on the cap of her pen. Her husky voice, barely a whisper, held a hint of laughter. So it had come to this—we had finally resorted to guerilla tactics.

I sat on the black leather sofa that took up most of my living room. A painting of a bridge resembling the one from Beetlejuice hung behind me. Every time I looked at it, I expected to see Michael Keaton staring back at me.

“No, too domestic. I need something fresh.” I stood and walked to the bay windows that covered the wall facing the street. The windows gave me a perfect view of the front yard and the porch swing I’d purchased last week. The cool wind blew what leaves remained on the trees, sending a flurry of red and orange dancing across the lawn. Street lamps illuminated the block, showing an array of family vehicles and children’s toys in every yard but ours. Staring outside usually calmed me down, allowed me to think more clearly. Today it just depressed me.

The clichéd suburban atmosphere leaking from every town house and minivan in the area was one of the reasons we chose the neighborhood. It was common to see the local kids playing a game of street hockey in the evening, bellies full of a home cooked meal, completely oblivious of what lived next door.

Before we moved in, the most nefarious entities to visit the block was the barrage of Girl Scouts who would attack out of nowhere with their sinful Caramel DeLites in tow, promising bliss for the small price of your soul.

As I stared out the window, I could imagine a troupe hiding in the bushes across the street, waiting for the next poor, unsuspecting person to happen by.

Elle’s voice thankfully broke through just as my mind was manifesting a shape in the shadows.

“Okay, let’s see…you can have him accidentally fall down a flight of stairs. Gruesome, but tasteful, you know?” Elle took the pen out of her mouth and made a quick notation in her blue and green spiral notebook.

The notebook she carried was filled with information similar to mine and was separated into sections for each of her husbands. They contained short backgrounds, habitual activities, and pictures from the weddings and honeymoons. Unlike mine, hers also included dossiers on various other men who’d caught her eye. Where I was more spontaneous with my picks, Elle insisted on researching her prey four or five at a time, just to help ensure a successful mission.

“Oh please! That’s never been done before!” I began to pace around the living room, mindful of the cat lounging on the rug. The black and white tabby stretched to reach my legs in a playful movement. She followed as I made my way into the kitchen. Surely a room full of sharp objects would lend some sort of inspiration.

“Well, fuck. You can always use my favorite—Man Killed by Pack of Wild Feral Children. It’s creative, innovative, and appeals to people of all generations.” She flicked her auburn hair and batted her too-long lashes, adding to her innocent appearance.

I lit another cigarette and poured another round of coffee. It was your typical Friday evening at the Reed residence.

Picking up my little pink notebook, I slowly skimmed through the pages. The most important pages of the book held my husbands’ obituaries, each dated a short time after the nuptials. Near the back of the book was the section for my current husband, Marcus Reed. It listed all of the standard information: birthday, parents’ names, siblings, education. Where the obituary should have been, there was one word scrawled across the page: FAILURE. After three months of marriage, Marcus was still amongst the living.

Trying to kill my husband had become a game of sorts. Elle and I would plot for days, perfecting our plans until we were sure of success. Then the unexplainable would happen. For example, the week Marcus and I got back from our honeymoon, Elle and I decided to repeat one of our easier methods of disposing of husbands: we’d sabotage his car. We’d first used this method a few years ago with my second husband, Zane Reynolds.

Zane was a Mechanic. I don’t mean he made a living by fixing vehicles—I mean body and soul he was a Grease throw-back Mechanic. He slicked back his short black hair in true T-Bird fashion and even kept a pack of cigarettes in his rolled-up shirt sleeve. At first it was cute. What woman didn’t want a piece of John Travolta after seeing that movie? And it was fun role-playing as a Pink Lady. Of course that was a few pounds ago, when the sight of me in black leather didn’t blind strangers and send children screaming for refuge.

After a few months, though, it started wearing heavily on my nerves. Zane would throw a bitch fit if I didn’t dress the part when we went out or if we were around his delusional friends. That’s probably why he didn’t last longer than a day after the honeymoon. It was a bit of poetic justice that we had used his beloved car against him. I wanted to do the world a service and take care of the other T-Bird fanatics, but Elle said that would be excessive and draw far too much attention to us. Not doing it is one of my few regrets in this life.

The steps we used to send Zane to the big garage in the sky were repeated meticulously to ensure the same results with Marcus. He always kept his Firebird in the garage, so no one could see Elle and me tinkering in the wee hours of the morning, loosening the bolt attached to the steering column. Imagine my surprise when I awoke to a phone call from Marcus. Apparently he’d taken my Corsica to get the oil changed and wanted me to swap cars at the garage.

“Remember, Jill, the spare key is in the tool chest in the garage.”

So much for that bright idea….

Surely there had to be a fool-proof way to kill my husband, I just wasn’t thinking clearly.

Who was I kidding? There were thousands of ways to take Marcus out of the picture. I was just too chicken shit to go through with any of them. I’d broken the cardinal rule, and had actually fallen in love with my husband. It was purely accidental, of course. Love wasn’t something I was interested in. There was no plausible reason I could think of to waste my time on such a useless emotion.

Now hate, hate was an emotion you could sink your teeth into. Changes have been made because of hate. America became a country because a group of people hated being ruled by someone else. Women clawed their way out of the kitchen because they hated being told they couldn’t do something. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t come near my neighborhood because they hated being doused with water as I screamed, “The power of Christ compels you!”

My breath escaped in a loud sigh. I took a seat and huddled against the arm of the sofa, hugging my knees to my chest. “My brain is starting to fry. I think we should call it quits for a while. Marcus will be home from poker night any minute.”

Disdain showed itself proudly on Elle’s normally stoic face, causing her ice-blue eyes to shine even brighter. “Do you remember when we used to stay up until four, five o’clock in the morning, brainstorming? It’s only eleven, Jill! Suck it up!” She puffed out her cheeks and squinted her eyes, trying to look put-out but only making herself look constipated.

“We’re not kids anymore. I need my beauty sleep.” I did my best Scarlet O’Hara impression, laying my hand limply across my forehead.

In retort, Elle chucked her lighter at me. “Not yet. I have a surprise for you.”

Interest newly piqued, I slowly let my hand fall away from my face. “If it’s not Gerard Butler wrapped up as the sexiest late Christmas present ever, I’m not interested.”

“Psh. What makes you think I’d give him to you? He’d be my Scottish sex toy. Mmm…Gerry…” Her eyes glassed over for a moment before she shook herself out of the same X-rated day dream she had every time we mentioned His Godhood. “Where was I…that’s right! Know what I found today? The Merry Widow’s Handbook. It was buried at the bottom of my chest underneath the Rainbow Brite collector’s sheets.”

My head snapped up, all thoughts of Marcus and Gerard slipping to the back burner. “Tell me you brought it with you. Dammit, woman. Why are you holding out on me?”

The Merry Widow’s Handbook was Elle and my first attempt at serious writing. Unfortunately neither of us were focused enough to keep it that way. It started off pretty good—methods of reconnaissance, effective ways to guard your heart against love in all its forms, and different manners of avoiding family ties. Then we just got silly. Elle wrote a poem called Ode to a Butcher Knife and I wrote a heart-warming chapter on farewell sex. We decided—nix that, hoped—there weren’t enough sadistic fucks who would want to read it, so it became a creation for us and us alone.

The last time I’d seen it was when Elle had visited me in Chicago almost seven years ago. She told me she had burned it. I don’t blame her for lying; after what I did, I deserved it. I deserved worse. But now was not the time for self-martyrdom. It was a time for celebration.

“No, but I’ll bring it with me to coffee tomorrow.”

And that was the conclusion of the shortest celebration in recorded history.

“Just remember to bring your notebook with you. IHOP, 1:00. Don’t be late.” Elle gave me a peck on the cheek and started the process of gathering her notebook and various other papers. She had a serious problem with organization—loose papers lay sprawled across the floor at her feet, and more were hung out of her notebook. It took her a while to gather it all, dropping pictures and notes as she went, throwing them into whatever free space she could find. I don’t know how she did it. Constantly reordering everything would drive me insane.

By the time she had everything piled together; the headlights from Marcus’ Camaro were shining through the window. Elle gave me one last wink before she was out the door and whistling at my husband.

“It’s about time you got that sweet ass home.” Marcus blushed at Elle’s cat-call. He waved good-bye as he stepped into the house.

Saying he stepped in was a bit of an understatement. At 6’ 2” and 235 lbs, Marcus towered through the doorway. He was a formidable sight. His jet black hair was worn shaggy and was greying at the edges. A former boxer, his body showed signs of age, but not many. His nose was a little crooked from being broken one too many times, adding to the character of his face. Crow’s feet were developing at the corners of his eyes, giving his smile that much more depth.

Though it annoyed me to admit it, he was worth keeping around for so long. Hell, I’d spent most mornings during our marriage limping out of bed, unable to walk let alone kill the man. Maybe that was his plan. Maybe he knew my intentions and was purposefully disabling me with phenomenal sex.

“You know, sometimes I just don’t know about that girlfriend of yours. I think she might be a bad influence on you.” He leaned in front of me, hands resting against the couch, a devilish smirk plastered on his face.

A sound very similar to a giggle escaped my lips. He tended to have that effect on me. “Yeah, you could say that.” I closed my eyes and leaned in to kiss him. My hands reached up to grab the back of his neck, fingers itching to run through the silky smooth curls that lay there. But there was no neck to grab. I opened one eye slowly, then the other, and found the space in front of me unoccupied. As I turned to the left, I caught a glimpse of him disappearing into the hallway that led to the bathroom. The little shit. Leaving me hanging definitely deserved a bullet to a very specific piece of his anatomy.

I leaned back and sighed loudly for the second time in under an hour, staring longingly at where his form had passed. My mind reeled from the emotional switch it had undergone. Going from plotting his death to wanting to rip his clothes off was almost as tiring as the sex would have been.

As sick as it may sound, joking about killing my husband didn’t bother me. The fact that I actually had to do it, though, weighed on my mind. It’s not like I hadn’t known when the vows were spoken last October they wouldn’t be forever. They never were. For me at least.

“Hey, Jill, I ran a bath with those bubbles you like. Hurry up before the water gets cold.” He poked his head out of the bathroom door and wiggled his eyebrows at me.

Oh, so now he wants to get friendly. I see how it is.

As soon as the bathroom door closed, I crept into the kitchen, grabbed a chair, and carried it into the hall. Propping the chair against the door handle, I smiled, hand flying up to my mouth to stifle the building laughter. I skipped into the bedroom and jumped onto the queen-sized bed.

Cuddling up with my pillow, I stared at the door in giddy anticipation. Pushing Marcus’ buttons was an excellent distraction. I couldn’t think about Marcus dying anymore. It made that nasty “l” word wriggle around in my conscious. Pissing him off was much better than crying over him.

Before long I heard the triumphant sound of the door smacking against the chair. A confused, “What the…” quickly followed, and then came the serious banging. Thwack! Thwack! “Jill! What the fuck is going on?” Bang! Bang! “Goddammit, open this door right now!”

It reminded me of the old Batman series. During the fight scenes, you never really saw the violence. You just heard the sounds and saw spinning words on the screen like Kapow! and Zonk! In this episode, instead of battling the Penguin or the Joker, the Caped Crusader was up against a most formidable foe: a kitchen chair. Holy warped oak, Batman! Inside my head I envisioned Marcus wearing a yummy pair of black tights, amplifying his natural…assets. Where, oh where, do you get those wonderful toys?

The image was just too much for me. I curled into a ball under the covers and tried to remain quiet. Small whimpers of laughter escaped, but I didn’t fully succumb until I heard Marcus break free of his prison and storm out the back door, muttering what sounded like, “It’s not like I asked for head.”

He could sleep in the garage for the night. I had a dream-date waiting with a certain actor in a kilt on a very windy day.

Texts I Can't Send: Day 7

2011-06-26T10:20:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Juliana Stone and a contest for Sable Grace's Ascension

2011-02-19T09:58:00.003-06:00

You still have the rest of today to enter my contest on Off the Fang (at Bitten by Books, where we have the postests with the mostest! lol wow...that was bad...) for a $20 gift card to the online book seller of your choice. Go here, talk about luuuuurv, and I'll toss your name in the hat.

In other news, big congrats to Juliana Stone for signing on for a new contract!! Her new League of Guardians series will be a spin-off of her Jaguar Warriors series, and I hope the boys make an appearance. : )

To celebrate, Juliana is having a contest for two e-ARCS of Sable Grace's Ascension. Blurbage:

The gates of hell have opened, and one woman will stand in the crossfire as the Dark Breed — vampyre, demons, shape shifters — and mankind fight their last battle for survival.

Kyana is half Vampyre, half Lychen… And the last of her kind. Determined, dangerous, and damned, she has no love for the mortals who have imprisoned and misused her. But when the Order of Ancients entrusts her with a mission — to find the key that will send the Dark Breed back into Hell for eternity — Kyana has no choice but to accept.

She is furious to learn her assignment comes with an escort… Ryker, a demigod and fierce warrior who long ago found a way under her skin and stayed there. In a shaky alliance, they discover an ancient cult with dangerous motive and a god who seeks to destroy all others. And as Kyana begins to feel the heat that threatens to bind her to Ryker, she knows she has to resist. For it could only mean the undoing of them both…

February 1st Releases: My Head Might Explode

2011-01-31T23:33:00.003-06:00

It's another massive release day meant to make your broke ass even broker (more broke? meh. I'm not going to worry).

Kate Pearce - Blood of the Rose (The Tudor Vampire Chronicles): When vampire slayer Rosalind Llewellyn had to join forces with her enemy Christopher Ellis to defeat a rogue vampire threatening Henry VIII, their alliance led to a surprising passion. Reunited after a year's separation, they now face a new threat that could destroy their last chance at happiness.

Yasmine Galenorn - Blood Wyne (Sisters of the Moon): The D'Artigo sisters have just turned in their badges to the Otherworld Intelligence Agency. Now that they're free agents they're hoping things will be easier, but when you're half-human, half-Fae, things can go astray at the most inopportune times...especially if you're attempting to go undercover and penetrate the underworld of a vamp society on the brink of war.

Dianne Duvall - Darkness Dawns (Immoral Guardians): Once, Sarah Bingham's biggest challenge was making her students pay attention in class. Now, after rescuing a wounded stranger, she's handed in the middle of a battle between corrupt vampires and powerful immortals who also need blood to survive. Roland Warbrook is the most compelling man Sarah has ever laid hands on. But his desire for her is mingled with a hunger he can barely control...In his nine centuries of immortal existence, no woman has tempted Roland as much as Sarah. But asking her to love him is impossible - when it means forfeiting the world she's always known, and the life he would do anything to protect.

Lauren Oliver - Delirium: Ninety-five days, and then I'll be safe. I wonder whether the procedure will hurt. I want to get it over with. It's hard to be patient. It's hard not to be afraid while I'm still uncured, though so far the deliria hasn't touched me yet. Still, I worry. They say that in the old days, love drove people to madness. The deadliest of all deadly things: It kills you both when you have it and when you don't.

Kimberly Frost - Halfway Hexed (Southern Witch): First, there are the local residents who form a scripture-spouting posse and kidnap Tammy to "defend" Duvall, Texas, against witchcraft. Next, someone saddles her with a secret package chock full of dangerous visions, just as the president of WAM-the World Association of Magic- arrives with his entourage to investigate her. And who worse to examine Tammy's entanglement with off-limits and drop-dead gorgeous wizard Bryn Lyons than his ex-girlfriend? Not to mention that the clash between the locals and the magical visitors leads to a series of unnatural disasters that may doom them all.

While the fate of the town hangs in the balance, one thing's certain: this would-be witch is ready to rumble, Texas style.

Joy Preble - Haunted: Anne Michaelson is trying to forget everything that happened last year. But it's hard to do when her heart aches for Ethan and there's a wild-haired woman stalking her...

Ethan Kosinsky is embracing his newfound mortality. But something is drawing him back to the girl he left behind-back to Anne and back to the magic...

A mysterious stranger is hunting Anne wherever she goes. No one sees her but Anne. When she searches for the woman's identity, Anne exposes secrets about her own life- things that will change her life forever. And when the gorgeous Ethan returns, her life gets a lot more complicated.

Anne thought her journey with the Romanov family had ended, but it was just the beginning...

Ben Aaronovitch - Midnight Riot: Probationary Constable Peter Grant dreams of being a detective in London’s Metropolitan Police. Too bad his superior plans to assign him to the Case Progression Unit, where the biggest threat he’ll face is a paper cut. But Peter’s prospects change in the aftermath of a puzzling murder, when he gains exclusive information from an eyewitness who happens to be a ghost. Peter’s ability to speak with the lingering dead brings him to the attention of Detective Chief Inspector Thomas Nightingale, who investigates crimes involving magic and other manifestations of the uncanny. Now, as a wave of brutal and bizarre murders engulfs the city, Peter is plunged into a world where gods and goddesses mingle with mortals and a long-dead evil is making a comeback on a rising tide of magic.

Sophie Renwick - Mists of Velvet (Annwyn Chronicles): Hidden from mortals, Annwyn, the Otherworld, is home to shapeshifters, wraiths and dragons. Rhys MacDonald, the mortal great-grandson of a banished prince races to Annwyn to offer help when his ancient homeland is threatened by a dangerous Dark Magick. There he encounters a young goddess and shapeshifter, who thinks he is the mate foreseen in her dreams. Bound together by the flames of desire, they discover that destiny-and the Dark Magick- has other plans for them...

Michelle Rowen - Nightshade (Nightshade): Jillian Conrad never believed in vampires-until she was unwillingly injected with a serum that was supposed to act as a deadly poison to them. Now, tormented half-vampire Declan Reese wants her blood to destroy the undead kingdom. Unfortunately, the serum has also made her blood irresistible to all vampires-including Declan, whose desire for Jillian is more than mere hunger.

Anthology - On the Hunt: New York Times bestselling author Gena Showalter, Shannon K. Butcher, Jessica Anderson, and Deidre Knight present a steamy collection of all-new novellas featuring sexy paranormal hunters. With shadowy creatures, intoxicating magic, vivdly imagined worlds, and sizzling passion, this is an anthology no fan of paranormal romance will want to miss.

Anya Bast - Raven's Quest: Branna ta Cattia is the Raven, a high priestess who has come to Numia to defeat its tyrant. It's a journey made on the strength of her prophetic dreams, visions of ancient rituals, sacred spells, and of a handsome stranger destined to help her.

Devyn Quinn - Siren's Surrender (Dark Tides): Never embracing her mermaid heritage, Gwen Lonike lives in the human world as the owner of a Maine B&B. But when the gateway to a lost mermaid kingdom is opened, freeing its dangerous queen, Gwen can no longer hide, nor keep her secret from covert agent Blake Whittaker, who's assigned to trail a strange thread of paranormal activity.

How long can Gwen and her sisters remain safe from a destructive queen, and from Blake's superiors, whose ultimate mission could prove the greatest threat of all?

Ashlyn Chase - The Werewolf Upstairs (Strange Neighbors): Public defender Roz Wells moves into a Boston apartment building filled with odd inhabitants, including shapeshifters, a couple of witches who make a noisy living with their phone sex business, a vampire, a ghost, and other paranormal beings. Roz’s new neighbor, the tall and exquisitely built Konrad Wolfensen, who sports flowing golden locks, is friendly and kind, sympathizing with her over her disappointment in her career choice. He claims to work in security, but they meet up again when he is assigned to her caseload for allegedly lifting a fully loaded commercial freezer, something beyond human capabilities. When Roz and Konrad start a steamy relationship, they decide to try out a series of possible careers, from bartending to jumping out of planes, but something always goes hilariously and catastrophically wrong. Then, when they try to help a neighbor witch and a ghost who is haunting the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, Konrad’s freedom and secrets are put in jeopardy. Readers who like play-by-play sex scenes and don’t worry about plausibility will enjoy Chase’s romp. --Diana Tixier Herald

Rachel Caine - Unseen (Outcast Season): After Cassiel and Warden Luis Rocha rescue an adept child from a maniacal Djinn, they realize two things: the girl is already manifesting an incredible amount of power, and her kidnapping was not an isolated incident.

This Djinn-aided by her devoted followers-is capturing children all over the world, and indoctrinating them so she can use their strength for herself. With no other options, Cassiel infiltrates the Djinn's organization-because if Cassiel cannot stop the Djinn's apocalyptic designs, all of humanity may be destroyed.

Regan Hastings - Visions of Magic (Awakening): In the ten years since magic has reemerged in the world, witches have become feared and hunted. For weeks Shea Jameson has been haunted by visions of fire. When she unintentionally performs a spell in public, she becomes one of the hunted. Her only hope is Torin, a dangerously sensual man who claims to be her eternal mate.

Darynda Jones - First Grave on the Right: Charley sees dead people. That’s right, she sees dead people. And it’s her job to convince them to “go into the light.” But when these very dead people have died under less than ideal circumstances (i.e. murder), sometimes they want Charley to bring the bad guys to justice. Complicating matters are the intensely hot dreams she’s been having about an Entity who has been following her all her life...and it turns out he might not be dead after all. In fact, he might be something else entirely.

Katharine Kerr - License to Ensorcell: Psychic Agent Nola O'Grady isn't sure returning to San Francisco, and living near her unusual family, is a good idea. Her job, with a psychic agency so obscure even the CIA doesn't know it exists, can be perilous, and she's afraid of the relatives getting involved.

Then the Agency saddles her with Israeli secret agent Ari Nathan, and she has a bigger problem on her hands, because tact and compromise are not Ari's strong points. Their mission is to track down a serial killer obsessed with werewolves. He sees them everywhere and shoots whenever he thinks he has one in his sights. Ari assumes the man's psychotic, but in truth he's murdering actual werewolves. Nola should know. Her younger brother Pat, a lycanthrope, was the first victim.

Can Nola's psychic talents and Ari's skill with guns keep them alive long enough to unravel the greater mystery behind the killings? Can they save the werewolves and the world while stopping Nola's family from running headlong into danger?

The Case for Falling in Love

2011-01-13T21:53:00.007-06:00

Today is a day for mass sarcasm. A good friend forwarded information about a new "anti-rules of love" book titled The Case for Falling in Love: Why We Can't Master the Madness of Love - and Why That's the Best Part. I know, quite a mouthful, isn't it? Take a moment and breathe.

The blurb: Are you tired of hearing that men and women come from different planets? Are you sick of the idea that men and women live in separate emotional universes? You’re not the only one.

Following these rules, you "will have lived like a true lover". (Please hold the laughter until the end of the post) Well, being twice divorced by twenty-seven, I should be one of the top candidates for an "anti-rules of love" book, right? Let's see what this book has to offer...

1. Stop trying so hard (I can see this one...after all, I try really hard to force conversation, leave the house to meet people, smile when someone says something nice...no more! If he tells a bad joke, I'm going to go with my gut and stare at him like he suddenly sprouted a talking zit.)

2. Stop being so cautious (Um...if I were an actual reader, I'd have to stop right here. Erecting an electrified fence around your heart is one thing, but you should always be cautious. This is tantamount to okaying the practice of drunkenly bringing men (are you sure he's a he?) home from the bar. I don't think so, Sparky.)

3. Stop analyzing your every move (Okay, this is a good one. Sometimes we women take a conversation and dissect it into teeny tiny sections so we can use a magnifying glass and find the context hidden within the hidden context. Or is that over-analyzing the rule not to over-analyze? Is it too analytical?? Am I breaking an anti-rule by dissecting the anti-rules?? TELL ME, DAMMIT!! TELL ME!!)

Ahem...

4. Stop expecting your guy to act like a caveman (I know, ladies, this one might be hard. There's nothing I like more than being clubbed in the head and dragged back to someone's lair, but if it's a detriment to the relationship, I guess I can give it up. Seriously, though, what does this mean? I expect my guy to not act like a caveman. Am I really that abnormal??)

5. Stop apologizing for being so strong (Again, I'm confused - women do this? I know it doesn't mean physically strong because I haven't seen any reports of angry women ripping the arms off their husbands and beating them with said arms...though it would be funny...but really?? Are we talking mentally strong? Emotionally? Intellectually? Let me put it this way - if you're apologizing for it, YOU AREN'T THAT STRONG. This is a bit of an oxymoron, I believe.)

6. Stop being afraid to have needs and vulnerabilities (Perhaps only the second valid "anti-rule" so far. I was guilty of this just yesterday. I put my needs/vulnerabilities on the back burner to make sure a friend was able to attain his. In the short-term, that's fine, but in the long-term, it will fuck you up.)

7. Stop running after guys THAT don't want you (Had to capitalize THAT because if you're running after a GUY and not an inanimate object or ZOMBIE, it is WHO. Gah. Anyways...running after a guy is fine. Sometimes they need to be clubbed in the head to realize what they want. It's when you catch them, tie them up, and keep them in your basement as a sex slave that things get a bit sketchy.)

8. Stop looking for a guy without issues (Because honey, there aren't any. Period. No snark needed.)

9. Stop manipulating the guy you love (...how does the author think you got him to love you? Being honest? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Moving on...)

10. Stop regretting very (I THINK THEY MEANT EVERY) false step you ever took (I'll give the author a point for this one. Regretting them will do you no good, but remembering them and LEARNING from them? Totally necessary. Sins of the past, and all that jazz.)

11. Stop thinking of loss as a pure loss (...I have no words...)

But wait! That's only eleven! Aren't there twelve?

Why yes. Yes there are. Number twelve? STOP TRYING SO HARD! Yeah...again, I'm going to have to call bullshit on this one. I hate to say it, but you HAVE to try hard in the beginning. I'm not saying be fake and reinvent yourself as something you're not - but you definitely have to put yourself out there and make yourself available. By definition, that's trying, and in this bubbling dating pool of malformed genetic mistakes, it can be VERY, VERY hard to do.

Overall thoughts? If you really wanted to stop trying so hard, you'd quit reading self-help books and get your ass out there. Just my opinion.

Book and Jewelry Giveaway at Bitten by Books: Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick

2010-09-28T13:20:00.005-05:00

Once again, I'm on my ass with some sort of bronchial infection, so I'm going to keep this short but sweet.

Contest:

One grand prize winner will receive:
A handmade gold angel wing and labradorite lariat and a copy of Crescendo!

Four additional winners will receive:
A copy of Crescendo!

The contest ends Friday 10/1/2010 at 11:59 pm CDT. Open to US and Canadian entrants.

Crescendo – Available October 19

The sequel to the New York Times Best selling phenomenon, Hush, Hush!

Nora should have know her life was far from perfect. Despite starting a relationship with her guardian angel, Patch (who, title aside, can be described anything but angelic), and surviving an attempt on her life, things are not looking up. Patch is starting to pull away and Nora can’t figure out if it’s for her best interest or if his interest has shifted to her arch-enemy Marcie Millar. Not to mention that Nora is haunted by images of her father and she becomes obsessed with finding out what really happened to him that night he left for Portland and never came home.

The farther Nora delves into the mystery of her father’s death, the more she comes to question if her Nephilim blood line has something to do with it as well as why she seems to be in danger more than the average girl. Since Patch isn’t answering her questions and seems to be standing in her way, she has to start finding the answers on her own. Relying too heavily on the fact that she has a guardian angel puts Nora at risk again and again. But can she really count on Patch or is he hiding secrets darker than she can even imagine?

To enter, go to Bitten by Books here: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=31078. Go forth and be merry.

My heart will never belong to romance

2010-08-17T21:18:00.002-05:00

This is the anti-romance rant I was BORN to write. ::snicker:: Okay, so it’s the two divorces, but still.

For the longest time, I refused to read romance novels. They’re more fictitious than the most bizarre paranormal. Why? Because there’s always a happily ever after. I’m sorry, but that’s total bullshit, and this is why.

You meet a guy. In a very short period of time, you fall in love. Quickly thereafter you get pregnant, have the baby, get married. This happens against all odds because he spends time in jail, has an ex who won’t go away, and your parents don’t like him. It’s a true love story because you overcome adversity, have the most beautiful baby boy in the entire world, and buy an amazing house to share your life in.

And that’s where the romance novel ends. Literally and figuratively. Novels don’t generally venture past this point in a relationship because it is at this point reality sets in. You realize you don’t know each other well. You like to stay home, he wants to go out all the time. You hate his friends, he hates yours. He goes out with said friends all the time. But you know the truth. None of his friends where that scent of perfume…

No one wants to read that shit. They don’t want to read how the love is beaten, bruised, and battered until someone stands up and screams ENOUGH!!!!

And that’s where the next romance novel begins. Two lovers, torn apart by adversity, raising a child in separate homes. They still love each other deep down, still dream about making their family a full one, no replacements, just the real deal. Pretty words are spoken. Hope blossoms. But ya know what? It’s still bullshit. You can’t. Change. People. Once a hermit, always a hermit. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don’t give me this, “I changed for you!” bullshit in real life or novels. It’s cheap. If your characters have a sordid past, they have to change for themselves, not each other. Otherwise, it’s more unbelievable than an angel falling from heaven and falling madly in love with me.

Upcoming Releases I Muuuuuust Have!

2010-08-10T20:46:00.010-05:00

Black Swan Rising by Lee Carroll

When New York City jewelry designer Garet James stumbles into a strange antiques shop in her neighborhood, her life is about to be turned upside down. John Dee, the enigmatic shopkeeper, commissions her to open a vintage silver box for a generous sum of money. Oddly, the symbol of a swan on the box exactly matches the ring given to her by her deceased mother. Garet can’t believe her luck and this eerie coincidence until she opens the box and otherworldly things start happening. . . .

That evening, the precious silver box is stolen. When Garet begins to investigate, she learns that she has been pulled into a prophecy that is hundreds of years old, and opening the box has unleashed an evil force onto the streets of Manhattan and the world at large. Gradually, Garet pieces together her true identity—one that her deceased mother desperately tried to protect her from. Generations of women in Garet’s family, including her beloved mother, suffered and died at the hands of this prevailing evil. Does Garet possess the power to reclaim the box and defeat this devastating force?

On her journey, she will meet the fey folk who walk unnoticed among humans and a sexy vampire who also happens to be a hedge fund manager that she can’t stop thinking about. But the fairies reveal a desire to overpower mere humans and the seductive vampire has the power to steal the life from her body. Whom can Garet trust to guide her? Using her newfound powers and sharp wit, Garet will muster everything she’s got to shut down the evil taking over her friends, family, New York City, and the world.

Last Dragon Standing by G. A. Aiken

I know what they see when they look at me. The charming, soft-spoken dragoness bred from the most powerful of royal bloodlines. A disguise stronger than any battle shield that allows me to keep all suitors at tail's length. A technique that's worked until him. Until Ragnar the Cunning, handsome barbarian warlord and warrior mage from the desolate Northlands. Unlike those who've come before him, he does not simply submit to my astounding charm and devastating smile. Instead, he dismisses me as vapid, useless and, to my great annoyance, rather stupid! Yet I'll allow no male to dismiss me. Soon he'll learn my worth, my many skills, and the strength of my will. For this one challenges me enough to make me want to ruthlessly taunt him, tease him and, finally, when the trap is set, bring him to his knees.

Sin Undone by Larissa Ione

HER TOUCH IS DEADLY
As the only female Seminus demon ever born, master assassin Sinead Donnelly is used to being treated like an outcast. She spent decades enslaved, and now vows she'll die before she'll relinquish her freedom again. Then Sin's innate ability to kill her enemies goes awry: She creates a lethal new werewolf virus that sparks a firestorm of panic and violence.

HIS HUNGER CAN'T BE DENIED
Half-werewolf, half-vampire Conall Dearghul is charged with bringing in Sin to face punishment for the plague. And she's no stranger: He's bound to her by blood, and the one sexual encounter they shared has left him hungering for her raw sensuality. Worse, Sin is the underworld's most wanted and Con soon learns he's the only one who can help her . . . and that saving her life might mean sacrificing his own.

The Mists of Time by Susan Squires

Diana Dearborn knows all about romance, at least in the books she writes. But passion eludes her in real life—until she’s offered the chance to travel back in time to Camelot. The world of King Arthur and Guinevere is nothing like she pictured, neither is the knight she encounters on her return to San Francisco: Gawain, the hero of her current project. He’s complicated, mysterious, and sexier than anything her imagination could conjure. And he’s been waiting for her…

Now, joined together in a desperate race, Diana and Gawain must prevent an ancient, evil force from wreaking mayhem in the all-too-real present. Diana must learn to trust Gawain—even while she encounters secrets about her own past. But even if their mission succeeds, does Diana’s destiny lie with this man from another time—and will their love alter history forever?

Healer's Choice by Jory Strong

Born into a world of violence and paid-for sex, Rebekka longs for a family of her own and dreams of freeing those trapped in the shapeshifter brothels of the red zone. A witch's prophecy claims she'll one day use her gift to heal the Weres made outcast by their mixed human-animal forms. But Rebekka knows that everything comes at a cost.

A plea to save five children sends her into the arms of Aryck, a Jaguar enforcer-and into territory controlled by pure Weres. It's a place where humans and outcasts aren't welcomed, where plague threatens and the fate of the Weres hangs in the balance. And where the choices Rebekka and Aryck make are paid for with their hearts...if not their souls.

Warrior by Zoe Archer
The vicious attack Capt. Gabriel Huntley witnesses in a dark alley sparks a chain of events that will take him to the ends of the Earth and beyond - where what is real and what is imagined become terribly confused. And frankly, Huntley couldn't be more pleased. Intrigue, danger, and a beautiful woman in distress - just what he needs.

Raised thousands of miles from England, Thalia Burgess is no typical Victorian lady. A good thing, because a proper lady would have no hope of recovering the priceless magical artefact Thalia is after. Huntley's assistance might come in handy, though she has to keep him in the dark. But this distractingly handsome soldier isn't easy to deceive...

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

Evie’s always thought of herself as a normal teenager, even though she works for the International Paranormal Containment Agency, her ex-boyfriend is a faerie, she’s falling for a shape-shifter, and she’s the only person who can see through paranormals’ glamours.

But Evie’s about to realize that she may very well be at the center of a dark faerie prophecy promising destruction to all paranormal creatures.

So much for normal.

Cold Magic by Kate Elliott

It is the dawn of a new age... The Industrial Revolution has begun, factories are springing up across the country, and new technologies are transforming in the cities. But the old ways do not die easy.

Cat and Bee are part of this revolution. Young women at college, learning of the science that will shape their future and ignorant of the magics that rule their families. But all of that will change when the Cold Mages come for Cat. New dangers lurk around every corner and hidden threats menace her every move.

If blood can't be trusted, who can you trust?

Please note: this list is not a complete list of must haves. Just the ones I don't already have, hehe. I looooove being a reviewer!

Unnecessary Remakes

2010-07-25T11:56:00.002-05:00

Remaking the classics is becoming an annoyance. Do we not have any original ideas? Case in point: They Live. Most wouldn't consider this B-rated horror flick starring a professional wrestler a classic, but I do. It's cheesy, it's hilarious, it's one of my favorites. Why?

You don't get much better than that! But what is Hollywood doing? Releasing a remake in 2011. I don't understand it. It's not like you can take a movie in which people view aliens through sunglasses and make it NOT be cheesy!

Example 2: The Evil Dead Trilogy...

Now, I heard Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell had their hands in the remake, but still. I'm not okay with this. And really, isn't that all that matters? : )

Now for something happy and heart-warming...ZOMBIE NAZIS!!!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2010-06-26T13:59:00.002-05:00

I've gone on this horrifying shopping spree and my office is now floor to ceiling books. ::blush:: I haven't been able to post anything because, uh, the book won't let me near the computer! Yeah, yeah, that's it...

It could also have something to do with my nifty little column over at Bitten by Books. It's called Off the Fang, and the second edition was posted on Monday. This week's subject is "authors in the wild!", a.k.a. stalking people I dig.

I'm heading to RomCon in July, so don't expect me to be around much. Not like you do anyways, LOL. List of authors and events forthcoming. Maybe. : )

Addicts and Hypocrites and Everything In Between

2010-05-24T23:50:00.004-05:00

Chemical dependency has been around for ages. Pills, caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol are the main addictive substances. People pop pills when they are depressed, have a headache, or just feel they can't deal with the world. Depressed? Don't talk to a friend, just take a pill. Have a headache? No time for a nap, take a pill! A world of disorders, malfunctions, and physical ailments can be cured merely by taking a little white capsule.

Richard S. Price, author of Caffeine and Nicotine and many other books on codependency and drug use, says that caffeine is the most widely used drug in the world. Caffeine is a psychoactive drug, meaning it affects your central nervous system. Price lists the downsides of caffeine as: possibility of addiction; a possible "downer" affect after the caffeine wears off; the body can build up a tolerance and need more of the substance for it to be affective; blood vessels decrease in size, making the heart beat faster; caffeine can make people anxious and nervous; and, it can interfere with sleep.

Now why in the hell am I talking about drug addiction and caffeine consumption? I normally blather on about books, promo, or Mike Rowe naked in my bed. Not today. Today, I have to let my serious side out to play, and let me tell you, she is PISSED.

A little background is in order...I am a very loyal person. Once you've proven yourself deserving of my respect, you have it. Stacia Kane is one of these people. Since I started reading her books and frequenting her blog, she has been nothing but helpful and respectful. She's answered my questions as an aspiring author and commented on my reviews of her books. I was thrilled to see the hype around her new Urban Fantasy series, the Downside books, beginning with Unholy Ghosts' release tomorrow. The books are much darker than anything she's written (that I've read, at least) and they center around a female protagonist addicted to drugs.

I think this was a very brave move. I escape into fiction like anyone else, but I can't help but wonder what the Urban Fantasy life would do to a real person. No one could live through the death and mayhem handed to them in these books without being seriously screwed up. Alcoholism, drug abuse, promiscuity--they slide into the lifestyle like a silky caress, complementing the greed and gore evident in most series novels.

Then along comes Unholy Ghosts. The author, Stacia Kane, posted on her blog a simple warning: "The back cover copy tells you very clearly that the book is about a drug addict. That is true. She is. Drugs are used in the book(s), quite a bit. If that’s a problem for you don’t buy the book, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. I don’t want you to buy a book you’re not going to like, or that will upset you or make you uncomfortable!" She then posted the first five chapters of the novel so readers would be aware what they were getting into.

She knew the consequences of having such a flawed character, and she took the necessary precautions. Then along came this review. I debated linking to the post for fear of a comment war, but I trust anyone reading this to be mature. I'm not asking for people to comment en masse defending the author. My point in this post is to vent my frustration with readers and reviewers, particularly with two comments.

The first is from the reviewer herself: "In the end, she’s unrepentant about any and all of this, and as much as I like all of the other aspects of the book, I think I might hate her." As a reviewer and a person, I am shocked and ashamed by this comment. There is no call for this sort of comment. Because YOU as a person don't feel comfortable about a particular lifestyle doesn't give you the right to judge. So Chess, the protagonist, is a drug addict. It's a flaw, a characteristic that gives life to her character. The reader gets to see Chess struggle with her addiction and watches her rationalize her behavior like a real drug addict. It isn't saying, "Hey, Chess is a drug addict, isn't that cool??". It's letting you take a glimpse at this woman's life and examine the way she suffers through it.

The second is from a commenter: "Wow, you all want the book BECAUSE it’s about a drug addict? Just boggles the mind. As much as I love the idea of the story (no vampires or demons – just wicked ghosts), this will not be a book I buy – I don’t support anything about drug addicts and I want to read stories about them even less." Seriously? Are you on CRACK? Let me reiterate my previous statement...BECAUSE A BOOK CONTAINS A DRUG ADDICT, IT DOES NOT MEAN THE AUTHOR AND/OR BOOK IS ADVOCATING DRUG USE YOU SILLY, SILLY PERSON. (See how I restrained myself? I'm proud. You should be, too.)

Now to the juicy part of this post...why does this upset me so badly? Why do I feel so adamantly about these dumb shit comments? Why does it even matter? It's just a book!

I'll tell you why. Because I HATE hypocrites. You hate drug addicts? That's fine. At least they're honest about who they are. Hypocrites are the most deceitful, lowly people on the planet.

How are these people hypocrites? Simple. They are so offended by drug abuse, but I can almost guarantee you that somewhere on their bookshelf is a book where the hero/heroine is a murderer, a thief, a slut, a rapist, or all of the above. Think about it...a high percent of paranormal romance/urban fantasy stars a vampire who's been alive for hundreds of years. You think he/she hasn't killed a human or two? So now you're advocating murder? You think killing people is okay, it's cool because the man/woman is sexy and "repentant"? What about all those heroes and heroines jumping in and out of each other's beds? Divorce rates are higher than ever. Maybe it's because there are so many lonely housewives getting hot and bothered by the sexy vampire in her novel. Maybe she decided to go find a hot stud of her own to fulfill her wanton desires.

Not only that, but if these people who are so offended by drug abuse or coffee or soda drinkers, they, themselves are DRUG ADDICTS. Remember the information I listed earlier? That's right! There was a point to the little lesson at the top! Caffeine is the most widely used DRUG in the world. Yes, DRUG. It may not have the social stigma of heroine, crack, or meth, but that doesn't change the facts. People risk their health for caffeine, spend hundreds of dollars a month on soda, Starbucks, and any other assortment of mochafrappuccinos to satisfy their hunger for that delicious little drug.

Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Yeah, I thought so, too.

Now you'll have to excuse me because I'm going to go succumb to my own addiction. I find I become twitchy and grumpy if I don't give in when the mood strikes me...my face flushes, fingers twitch in a tell-tale sign that I need a fix and I need it now. I know I can stop at any time, but I don't want to. It just feels sooo good holding it in my hand, cracking it open for the first time, and savoring the sinful decadence held in it's smooth pages.

(If, somehow, my point has been lost and you find yourself confused...click the big red X on the top of your browser and move along. If you don't get it the first time around, it's never going to penetrate your brain.)

My Genius Is Astounding (AKA Nix Hearts Mike Rowe)

2010-05-15T01:45:00.003-05:00

Every once in a while, I get an idea so brilliant, so phenomenal, so absolutely IMPOSSIBLE that the world shifts on its axis a fraction of a degree.

Call me Ill Nino, bitches, because this is epic. Wait...no...we can't do that...these guys took that name...

Anways...back to my brilliance...

My love for deep-voiced men is rivaled only by my love of tall men with big...attitudes. This is a love shared by dear Nucking Futs Nix from Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark Series. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about you need to leave. Now. Your kind are not welcome here!) For several books, Nix obsesses over, and occasionally stalks, Mike Rowe, star of Dirty Jobs and Dirty Dreams everywhere. ::wistful sigh::

As I was discussing the line up for events at (BLATANT PROMO HERE) Bitten by Books, I had the inspired idea to have Mike Rowe on the site to discuss being stalked by a fictional warrior woman. Of course, he'd never do it. I'm sure he's molested by randy women enough as it is--add a bevy of horny readers of paranormal romance (Don't deny it, ladies. Accept it.) to the list would likely be his idea of hell. But still. Think of the possibilities...the magic...the lonely nights spent listening to his sexy voice...

Um...I mean...oh, shit, that's exactly what I meant.

Like I said, brilliant, yes?

Confessions of a Kelley Armstrong Fan Girl

2010-04-15T22:14:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I think I connect too deeply with characters in the books I read. Their lives become my life. I have a visual scrapbook of each encounter, able to flip through it any time I want to visit their world. It may be insane, but that's me.

Most of the characters I relate to are...different. They're difficult, living on the fringe, definitely not the boy/girl next door. Hell, most of the time they aren't even human.

Clay and Elena from Kelley Armstrong's Women of the Otherworld series are two of my favorites to visit. They were one of the first couples I read about in the paranormal world. Elena wanted to be normal more than anything, but it simply wasn't her. She was strong, self-assured, and a werewolf, but the last part was the least important. Sure, she turned furry and hunted animals, but her true power was in her mind and her heart. And in her heart was Clay.

I found Clay and Elena late in the game. Five books had already been released in the series, giving me an opportunity to learn about them quickly without that horrible waiting period. I searched for any tidbits I could find online, and was ecstatic to discover "Beginnings", a short story Kelley wrote and published online. It told the story of how they met, something mentioned in the books but never fully delved into.

If I hadn't been hooked before, I would have after reading the story. Told from both their perspectives, I saw Elena as a young student falling in love with a strong, commanding man. I saw Clay, losing himself in a woman for the first--and last--time. There would never be another woman for him no matter what. He made it clear to the reader and Elena. So his methods weren't always noble. In fact, at times they were down-right reprehensible. But they were done because he knew, in his heart and soul, they were meant to be together.

A while ago, Kelley took most of her short stories off the Internet. She decided to publish them and give the proceeds to charity. I've gone almost two years without reliving Elena and Clay's first moments.

My wait is finally over.

On Tuesday, I raced to the bookstore and snatched Tales of the Otherworld, a compilation of short stories, including "Beginnings". I have a house to clean. A book to revise. Reviews to post. But I don't care. One page in and I'm hooked all over again. The discovery, the love, the betrayal, it's as addictive as any drug and twice as potent.

Must-See Events and Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

2010-03-10T10:14:00.004-06:00

As soon as I can focus for more than two seconds, I'll be posting my thoughts on Victoria Dahl's Lead Me On, Chloe Neill's Some Girls Bite, Lisa Kleypas' Smooth Talking Stranger, and I think Erin McCarthy's Hard and Fast. For now, Must-See Events at--you guessed it--Bitten by Books!! And okay...I snuck in a Suburban Vampire plug, too...

Daily Book Chat and Contest - Chicagoland Vampire Series by Chloe Neill
How fortuitous since I just finished the first book and ran to buy the second one! Seriously, this is one of those rare series that has humor, tension, a solid plot, and unique worldbuilding all wrapped in a cute little box.

Guest Blog, Chat and Contest with Author Susan Blexrud
There is a picture of The Julien. Go. Visit. Drool. Prizes?

Prize 1: A $50.00 B&N gift certificate
Prize 2: A glossy poster (12″x17″) of Love Fang. Open to readers with addresses in the US and Canada.

Guest Blog, Chat and Contest with Author Mario Acevedo
The video for the Undead Threat to America is hilarious. You have to watch it. Seriously. Contest ends at midnight tonight, so hurry up if you want to enter.

Prize: $50 gift card from Barnes & Noble, an ARC for X-RATED BLOODSUCKERS, and a copy of the UNDEAD KAMA SUTRA.

RSVP For: 3/11 Interview, Chat and Contest With Author Eileen Rendahl. Event starts at 12:00 pm Central and runs all day and into the night. Contest runs until 11:59 pm Central on 3/12/10.
Description: Join us with author Eileen Rendahl for an Interview, Chat and Contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her new release Don’t Kill The Messenger.CONTEST: She will be giving away an awesome prize, but you will have to come to the event to find out just what it is!

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out her website here and get your questions ready for her event.http://www.eileenrendahl.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=20431 so they can RSVP too!

And finally, the Suburban Vampire plug. She's giving away a neat little reference book called Bite: A Vampire Handbook. Color me intrigued.

Julie James and Shiloh Walker: Two Pimp-Worthy Authors

2010-03-01T14:26:00.005-06:00

Okay, don't be shocked, but I'm going to pimp something other than Bitten by Books. I know, I know, miracles do happen!

And then, of course, it will be back to the Bitten by Books Happy Hour. But for now...

I first discovered Julie James by accident. I'm not big on contemporary romances, and was tentative to try a new author. Then lights shown, the angels sang, and chocolate flowed from the water tap. This woman can WRITE! Her men are sexy and complicated, her women strong and independent, but most importantly, her plots are believable. Tomorrow, her newest book, Something About You, releases. If you want a story that will entertain you and capture your heart, don't hesitate. Pick this up.

The second book you should pick up tomorrow is Broken by Shiloh Walker.

Shattered

Quinn Rafferty is working as a bounty hunter and bail bondsman in St. Louis when a new neighbor catches his eye. He’s tempted by her beauty—but he knows from experience that anyone desperate enough to live in his building is damaged goods. Besides, he has his own soul to mend before he can worry about anyone else.

Desperate

Sara Davis is on the run, but not for the usual reasons a woman goes on the lam. She’s not an abused wife, and she’s not a criminal. But she does have a plan for her future. And as much as she finds herself attracted to her gruff, tough neighbor, she can’t risk telling him the secrets she’s hiding. There’s just too much at stake.

Driven to desire…

But Quinn must get closer to Sara when she turns out to be the target of his new missing persons case, and he discovers that there is something more complex and dangerous to her than he thought. Now, both Quinn and Sara will have to expose their true feelings—as well as their fragile hearts—if they hope their love will survive…

EXCERPT

He opened the door—

And stopped dead in his tracks as somebody all but fell into his arms. Somebody…a woman. And not Theresa.

He caught her just above her elbows, automatically steadying her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice soft and low.

Then she lifted her face and Quinn found himself gazing into the biggest, brownest eyes he’d ever seen in his life. Feeling a little dazed, he studied her face while she stammered out another apology.

Quinn barely heard it.

He was too busy staring at her mouth. A very pretty mouth, a cupid’s bow mouth slicked with deep, vibrant red. Under his hands, he could feel silken smooth skin and unable to resist, he stroked a thumb along her inner arm.

Her skin was soft, soft and warm. He was also pretty sure she had the creamiest, most flawless skin imaginable. Her shoulder-length hair was a shade caught between blonde and brown, nondescript, but for some reason, he found himself thinking about tangling his fingers in that hair and holding her head still while he kissed that red-slicked mouth.

Well, hello…

My last bit of love is, of course, for Bitten. RSVP For: 3/2 Guest Blog, Chat and Contest With Author Skyler White. Event starts at 12:00 pm Central and runs all day and into the night. Contest runs until 11:59 pm Central on 3/3/10.

Description: Join us with author Skyler White for a guest blog, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her newest release and Falling, Fly.
She is also giving away some AMAZING prizes to several lucky contest entrants.

3 winners their choice of an angel print, signed by the author and the artist open to readers worldwide.

Her publisher has also offered up 3 precious copies of her new book and Falling, Fly open to US and Canadian readers.

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out her website here and get your questions ready for her event.http://www.skylerwhite.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=20401 so they can RSVP too!

Romance Novels - Porn for Women?

2010-02-24T09:25:00.003-06:00

We've all been there--minding our own business, perusing the romance section at our local bookstore, when from behind the stacks of scantily clad women in leather comes a voice, "Romance." ::snicker:: "That shit's just porn for women."

Your first reaction might be violent, the second homicidal, but before you leap over the bookshelves and pummel the offending party within an inch of his--because it's always a HE--life, consider this...

Isn't romance really a form of porn for us?

Put down the torches and pitchforks and hear me out.

Admit it, ladies. The thought of a gorgeous, ripped man who is not only hot for us, but is kind, caring, possessive (yes, possessive), and a bit of an Alpha just plain does it for us. We get off on it as much as men get off on naked women.

I'm not saying romance is all sex and smut. You couldn't be more wrong. It's the intellectual and emotional stimulation we get from the books that affects us so deeply. The sex helps, but it isn't the driving force.

Think about that next time some poor punk snickers at you while you're getting your next fix.

Catching Up

2010-01-27T14:30:00.003-06:00

Haven't promo'd in a while...I've been buried under edits and I can't seem to find my way out.

Interesting tidbit: "figlioccio" may be my favorite word to say. It means godson and it just rolls off your tongue. Go on. Try it.

Back to the pimpage...

There's an interview, contest, and chat with Larissa Ione going on at BBB. Here’s how to enter the contest: You can do just ONE or ALL of these things, and each thing you do will give you additional entries at a chance to WIN. REMEMBER you have Until 1/28/10 at 11:59 pm Central to do the different things that YOU choose to do. It is NOT mandatory you make a purchase to enter the contest. There are plenty of free ways to get entries as well.

She is also giving away several AMAZING prizes!
Prize 1: Apple iPod shuffle 2 GB Green (4th Generation) with a $25.00 iTunes Gift Card.
Prize 2: A killer Demonica shopping bag filled with Demonica goodies in it.
Prize 3: A swanky Demonica Mug with Demonica goodies in it.
The open to US residents only unless you have a US shipping address we can send your prize too.

You can RSVP for the event with Jenna MacLaine here. She will be giving away a copy of her book to FIVE lucky readers. Readers choice!

Angie Fox's blowout is going until midnight tonight.

Go here for a chance to win a free copy of Allison Brennan's Original Sin. (Beautiful cover. All it's missing is a snake...) Contest ends tonight.

You can RSVP for the event with Faith Hunter here. She is also giving away several AMAZING prizes! 2 each $25 gift cards from Amazon5 each pair of earrings2 each wire-wrapped stone pendants1 each necklace

That should do it for now!

Buona Notte

2010-01-18T23:48:00.003-06:00

It's been one hell of a week, but I wanted to continue with a small lesson. And when I say small, I'm not kidding.

Phrase from Monday: La zia Marie e lo zio Nunzio abitano a Parigi.

This sentence is full of learning possibilities, but let's focus on the nouns--la zia and lo zio. As I explained earlier, pronouns change to fit the noun they represent. By looking at "zia" and "zio", you know the words are similar. If you couldn't already tell which was masculine and which feminine, the pronoun would help you.

What do you think "zia" and "zio" mean? If you speak Spanish, it may be obvious. After all, when you say the words, they sound like "tia" and "tio", don't they?

Aunt and uncle are among the easiest of relative nouns to remember. To change the word to represent the opposite gender, you simply drop the ending vowel and switch it to suit your needs. Not all nouns are so easily swamped, but that's a story for another day.

More events at Bitten by Books

2010-01-10T22:37:00.003-06:00

I left my day-by-day Italian phrases at work, so the lessons will resume on Monday! For now, this week's fun at BBB.

RSVP For: 1/11 Release Party, Contest and Chat with Author Helen Scott Taylor. Event starts at 12:00 pm Central and runs all day and into the night. Contest runs until 11:59 pm Central on 1/12/10.

Description: Join us with author Helen Scott Taylor for a release party, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her newest release The Phoenix Charm.

She is also giving away an AMAZING prize! Open to international readers:

A $100.00 Amazon Gift Card!!

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out her website here and get your questions ready for her event.
http://www.helenscotttaylor.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=16597 so they can RSVP too!

RSVP For: 1/12 Release Party, Contest and Chat with Author Joss Ware. Event starts at 12:00 pm Central and runs all day and into the night. Contest runs until 11:59 pm Central on 1/13/10.

Join us with author Joss Ware for a release party, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her upcoming release Beyond the Night.

She is also giving away SEVEN AMAZING prizes! Open to US/Canadian readers:

Prize 1: A $100.00 gift certificate to BN.com, Borders.com, or Amazon.com (winners choice) and a copy of the DVD series The Real Las Vegas.

Prize 2: 6 sets of the DVD series The Real Las Vegas. Produced by The History Channel, this series pulls the curtain back on Vegas’s sometimes bloody past, while The Envy Chronicles reveals a far more frightening Vegas of the future.

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out her website here and get your questions ready for her event.
http://www.josswarebooks.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=16598 so they can RSVP too!

If I must learn, then so shall you

2010-01-06T22:54:00.008-06:00

Since I oh-so-wisely quit college (again) when I was pregnant (::cough cough:: he is now two years-old ::cough cough::), I figured it was time I re-learned some of those nuggets of wisdom. Namely, the foreign languages. I learned Spanish, Italian, and French, and can't write a complete paragraph in either. Okay...probably in Spanish...but not the others! So I bought a Living Language Daily Phrase and Culture Calendar for Italian!! It cames with a new phrase or cultural tidbit per day plus a language CD.

Today's offering: Il tuo pap a è davvero simpatico. Meaning: Your dad is really nice.

Let's break it down so we can learn it/I can remember the proper grammar. Today we'll focus on the possessive pronoun "your" and the verb form "he is".

Who is our subject? Your dad. The word for dad is easy: pap a (there should be an accent mark over the last a, but I can't get it to come over correctly). Next question: whose dad? Yours! Let's look at our list of possessive pronouns:

Singular
mio
tuo
suo

Plural
nostro
vostro
loro

Since there is only one of you, not many of you, the correct choice is "tuo". If we were talking about your mother, you would use the feminine version of the pronoun "tua".

The verb "to be" (one of them...I won't get into the other one right now) in Italian is "essere". The first thing you must do is find the appropriate conjugation depending on your subject and tense. In this case, the subject is "your dad" or "he" and the tense is present. Below are the different present-tense conjugations with the appropriate pronouns:

Singular
io sono
tu sei
lui è

Plural
noi siamo
voi siete
loro sono

Since we're only talking about one dad, the correct choice is è.

Release Party, Contest and Chat with Author Donna Grant

2010-01-05T13:52:00.001-06:00

Join us with author Donna Grant for a release party, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her newest release Dangerous Highlander.She is also giving away an AMAZING prize! Open to international readers:
The Barnes & Noble nook eReader! Please note that the nook is currently on back order until February. As soon as it is available your prize will ship directly from Barnes & Noble.

The event is going on now. Haven't heard too much about the Nook but an eReader is an eReader!

Rejection and the blame game

2010-01-02T01:31:00.000-06:00

(It really isn't their fault, but they aren't here so I'm totally blaming them, LOL)

I just received a very lovely rejection letter (I'm being serious, not sarcastic) from a publisher in which many negative things in my manuscript were pointed out. Like, kind of big things. You know, things that a critique group of seven and a beta reader should have caught. (Note I do not blame myself at this point. Let me be selfish!) But NOOOOO. Do you think anyone told me that my main characters show distinct traits of TSTL??? Nope. Or that my heroine has Bella Swan tendencies when I refuse to read that series because I HATE those kind of heroines? Nope. Or that my ending totally doesn't work? Nope. They said nothing. Nothing, I say! They let me sub this thing to agents and a publisher! Bastards! Ingrates! Wretches!

See the above rant? That is the exact opposite of how you should act when your manuscript is rejected, but it is honestly the first reaction I had. I'm a whiny bitch and I admit it. Now, I have two choices: I can continue to pout and stew and mope around whining about how my critique group screwed me by blowing "you're awesome" smoke up my ass, or I can suck it up, admit that I wrote the damn thing so **I** should have noticed the negative aspects, and fix it.

After a cigarette, I guess I'll be a big girl and start turning my POS into a masterpiece. I'm posting this because I know a lot of us are at this stage in the game--we've been told that our work is great and we should start sub'ing, but we're afraid of rejection. Well, guess what. We're all going to get rejected at some time or another. It's okay to rant and rave and blame everyone under the sun as long as you get it out of your system and learn from the experience. A rejection letter is not the end of the world. It's a chance to grow as a writer and make your story stronger. Remember that as you're browsing through a word document chock full of comments like "this doesn't make sense".

Overabundance of obnoxious adjectives

2009-12-16T21:00:00.003-06:00

Being broke as hell has never stopped me from buying books. Now that job number two is in a bookstore, my nasty habit is getting even worse. One of my favorite new buys is The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman. I have a ton of "industry" books, but am just now realizing how important they are, especially to those of us with that nasty little "aspiring" tag in front of the author designation.

One of the end-of-chapter exercises is to remove every adjective and adverb from a one of your pages. After that, you are supposed to evaluate the words you removed and evaluate their originality and usefulness. Then, do the same with all the nouns and verbs.

Tonight, I dissect a page. I'll post the results later.

Half Past Dead--Zoe Archer and Bianca D'Arc

2009-12-12T00:31:00.004-06:00

December 29th is one helluva day for releases in the paranormal/urban fantasy genres. My Zombie Valentine, Shades of Midnight, Bound by Sin, Gentlemen Prefer Succubi, Hallowed Circle, and Spellbent are only a few of the options for you to spend your hard-earned cash.

Best of all, you get to experience zombie love with Half Past Dead, a two-for-one gimme gimme by Zoe Archer and Bianca D'Arc.

The Undying Heart by Zoe Archer - Samuel Reed had no idea magic existed, until it almost destroyed him. Thirsting for vengeance against the enemy who made him something less than human, Sam returns to England and crosses paths with Cassandra Fielding. His best friend's little sister has become a fearless woman on a dangerous mission of her own. And against all odds, she sees past what he's become, and stirs a desire he thought he'd lost forever...Simon Says by Bianca D'Arc - Special Forces soldier Simon Blackwell ended his affair with Mariana Daniels three years ago, but he hasn't stopped protecting her. Mariana has no knowledge of the dark, deadly creatures that lurk in the forest surrounding her clinic, or of the mysterious powers that make Simon the only one who can defeat them. But soon he'll have no choice but to reveal the truth, and urge her to trust in an explosive passion that never faded.

Half Past Dead can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Borders, as well as anywhere else books are found.

Disclaimer: In order to abide by FTC laws, I must state that I may be receiving a copy of this book in exchange for assistance in advertising. It's the same thing as reviewing, folks, but since I'm not a "reviewer blog" (I leave that to my cohorts at Bitten by Books where I DO review), I have to disclose this information. Weird, huh?

I don't understand why I have to have a disclaimer in order to support an amazing author, but thems the breaks. We don't always understand or agree with them, but we follow them. Anything you can do to support an author--ANY author--is a good cause in my book.

Heroes and villains

2009-11-14T22:49:00.003-06:00

For the past few months I've subscribed to Holly Lisle's newsletters. They're full of wonderful insight into improving your writing. My favorite so far was the post on making your villain stronger than you hero. If the hero can fell the villain with a wave of his arm, what's the point.

This made me think of my WIP. It's the sequel to the manuscript I'm shopping and is by far better than anything I've ever written because there is so much emotion tied into it. Including the villainization of my hero. He dObsessive-Compulsively Ruining My Nai...oesn't rape or plunder or anything like that, he's just selfish and thinks he knows best. His actions, though, are as devastating as any true murderous bad guy. It changes the heroine more than death ever could and I feel bad about it.

He was the first character "born" in this world. He's also the one people like the least. Not to be sappy, but everything he does he does for love. He makes the tough decisions that we don't want to make because we don't want to be the bad guy.

My guy couldn't give a shit what people think as long as the heroine is safe.

I find myself hesitating when he enters onto the scene. There is so much to him, so much that he wants to do, but he can't. He burned a huge bridge to become bigger and stronger and there's no way for him to get to the other side. I hate what I'm about to do to him, but it can't be helped.

Megan Crewe and Sharon Ashwood (and bragging) events at Bitten by Books

2009-11-13T14:43:00.004-06:00

Join us with author Megan Crewe for an interview, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her latest release Give Up the Ghost.

She will be giving away some amazing prizes. Open to readers worldwide except where noted.

Prize 1: A ghost book prize pack featuring my five favorite ghost books (Shadowed Summer by Saundra Mitchell, A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb, Flying in Place by Susan Palwick, I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder, and Remember Me by Christopher Pike) and a $25 gift certificate for the online bookstore of the winner’s choice.

Prize 2: A large swag pack including a Give Up the Ghost tote bag, samples of all five ghost scents http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31374652, battery-powered paper lantern, signed cover flat, and lots more.

Prize 3: 5 small swag packs including signed Give Up the Ghost cover flats, buttons, bookmarks, stickers, mini paper lanterns, and more.The first prize is US & Canada only, the second and third prizes are worldwide.

Check out Megan’s website here and get your questions ready for Friday .http://megancrewe.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=12653 so they can RSVP too!

::Cough Cough:: In regards to the event below this obnoxious read lettering...part of the review I wrote for her first novel in the series, Ravenous, is being printed in Scorched, her new release! At least, it was in the Advanced Copy. : )

RSVP For: 11/16 Release Party, Chat and Contest with Author Sharon Ashwood. Event starts at 12:00 pm Central and runs all day and into the night. Contest runs until 11:59 pm Central on 11/22.

Join us with author Sharon Ashwood for a release party, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her latest release Scorched.She will be giving away three great prizes! Open to readers worldwide.

Prize 1: $100.00 Amazon.com Gift Card

Prize 2: $25.00 Amazon.com Gift Card

Prize 3: $25.00 Amazon.com Gift Card

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out Sharon’s website here and get your questions ready for Monday.http://www.sharonashwood.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=12656 so they can RSVP too!

Jackie Kessler: Goddess in disguise?

2009-11-02T23:21:00.002-06:00

I'm nothing if not a creature of habit. I like things a certain way, especially when I'm writing. I sit in the same spot with a water, cup of coffee, laptop, and random ass notes splayed across the couch. In the same respect I'm very superstitious. For some reason my brain thinks that if everything isn't exactly the same way, I won't be able to write, as if somehow my Muse see that the cup of coffee isn't sitting at exactly a 90 degree angle and decide to kick rocks.

Insane? Perhaps. But it works.

As I was preparing for NaNoWriMo this year, I realized something very important to my plotting was missing: Love Your Inner Demon sticky notes a la Jackie Kessler. I got my first set during Conestoga two years ago and they single-handedly helped me plot the manuscript I'm trying to sell right now. Something about a poll-dancing succubus gets the creative juices flowing!

As soon as this revelation occurred, I sprung into action and emailed the fabulously talented author. I explained my superstition regarding the post-it notes (and maybe laid it on a little thick regarding their importance to my burgeoning writing career) and was treated to a prompt response (and not a restraining order) saying she'd send me one of her last sets.

Victory! Glory! Yippy!!

Today the package came and it was a little big for a packet of post-it notes. It seems that Jackie sent me a little surprise...a signed copy of The Road to Hell, the book that chipped away at the blackness of my heart and made me bawl like a baby. I even wrote a review about it a year ago detailing the effect it had on me. It is easily one of the most hard-hitting yet strangely hilarious books I've ever read.

She didn't have to send me the book. She didn't even have to send me the notes. But she did. Why? Because she's more than just a writer. You can tell that it's about more than the money with her. She truly cares about her fans and rewards those loyal to her.

We need more authors like Jackie Kessler. (And no, this is not a plea for free stuff from authors. I'm actually being serious for once. Enjoy it while it lasts.)

Contests of the furry kind

2009-10-30T18:23:00.003-05:00

Fangs, Fur, and Fey are having a HUGE contest for their 3rd Anniversary. The info:

Here are the prizes:

Grand Prize - One (1) lucky winner will receive a Kindle Reader, retailing for $259.00, more info here: ( http://www.amazon.com/Wireless-Reading-Display-International-Generation/dp/B0015T963C/ref=sr_tr_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1256770824&sr=8-1 ).

Other prizes - Twenty-two (22) lucky winners will receive a gift card in the amount of $20.00 from one of these five book retailers: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Books-A-Million, or Powell's - winner's choice which.

Contest Rules: All you have to do to enter is email your name and a shipping address to fangsfurandfey AT yahoo DOT com. Only one entry per person allowed, UNLESS...

If you blog about the contest and link back to this post, send a second email with the link showing where you blogged about it. Any double-entry without a link enclosed that shows where you blogged about the contest will be deleted.

Contest starts today, October 30th, and will close on Friday, November 13th, at 11:59 pm Eastern time.

Wicked Awesome and Jennifer Rardin

2009-10-28T10:56:00.002-05:00

One of the perks of working in the hotel industry is getting free tickets (SOMETIMES) to events. Last night, I used two of my handy dandy tickets too see Wicked and it was AMAZING. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it because the book bored me to tears. The author droned on and on and on and on and on and...crap...what was I saying? Oh! Right...and ON about nothing. The musical was much better. Galinda (the "gah" is silent) was a little annoying, but that was the point, and, of course, the bad girl won. : ) I love a story where the villain is shown to be anything but. That's probably why I like my vampire stories so much.

Anyway...

Jennifer Rardin is at BBB! And I'm lazy, so I'm copying the RSVP info...
10/28 Release Party, Chat and Contest with author Jennifer Rardin. Event starts at 10:30 am CDT and runs all day and into the night. Contest runs until 11:59 pm CDT on 10/29.

Description: Join us with author Jennifer Rardin for an interview, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her latest release Bite Marks.

She will be giving away some amazing prizes! The contest is open to readers worldwide!
1 $100 Gift Certificate from Amazon
1 set of autographed books from several urban fantasy authors who make up the League of Reluctant Adults.
1 set of autographed books from the Jaz Parks series, #1-#5, the UK version–which are quite collectible for Americans because a couple of the covers are different.
1 laptop case (Which we all know Jaz would use as a weapons bag–picture also provided).

Erica Hayes at Bitten by Books!

2009-10-21T11:48:00.001-05:00

This is going to be short and sweet. Erica Hayes is having an interview, chat, and contest over at Bitten by Books today so stop by, say hello, and enter for a chance to win an iPod!

Aaaaand the laziness continues...

2009-10-13T23:26:00.005-05:00

...and now for a word from our sponsors...

One of the best things about reviewing (::cough cough:: Bitten by Books is the best review site for paranormal fiction EVAH ::cough cough::) is getting early releases. That's right, my friends, the book in my son's grubby little hands isn't due out until the end of the month. And it's gooooood. Soo gooood. Vayl...::drools::

Heard of Bitter Night by Diana Pharaoh Francis? Oh yeah. Totally read it. The new Nalini Singh, Blaze of Memory? Yup. On its way. Deborah Cooke's Winter Kiss? In the same shipment!

I should probably mention the ton 'o contests BBB is having. But first...another pic of Dorian pimpin' Jennifer Rardin's new book...

All month long BBB is hosting a 31 Days of Halloween contest. Or contests. However you want to look at it. 31 days to win, and most of the time the task is as simple as naming your favorite Halloween costume.

RSVP For: 10/14 Character Interview, Chat and Contest with author Cinsearae Santiago. Event starts at 10:30 am Central on 10/14. Contest runs until 11:59 pm PDT on 10/15.

Description: Join us with author Cinsearae Santiago for an interview, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her latest release Abraxas: The Haywire Halloween.

She will be giving away an amazing prize package that includes an ABRAXAS tote bag, signed mini poster, button, magnet, crucifix keychain, exclusive handmade bracelet created for and inspired by the series, handmade earrings, a Halloween goody bag chock full of candy and toys, and E-copies of her Halloween short stories, “The New Kid”, “Doppelganger”, “A Sensual Situation” and “A Love Story, or: Be Careful What You Wish For” on CD. Open to readers worldwide!

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out Cinsearae’s website here and get your questions ready for Wednesday.
http://bloodtouch.webs.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=11647 so they can RSVP too! Lets show Cinsearae the love she deserves from her friends in the US and abroad!

This Event starts at 10:30 am Central on 10/15. Contest runs until 11:59 pm PDT on 10/19.

Description: Join us with author Christine Rose for an AWESOME Release Party, chat and contest at http://bittenbybooks.com/. She will also be talking about her latest release Witch on the Water.

She will be giving away an amazing array of prizes! The contest is open to readers worldwide!

GRAND PRIZE:Signed copies of both books & a Deluxe Vampire Slayer Kit, handmade by Ethan ($70 Value)
Includes hammer, stake, holy water, garlic, and coffin-shaped display case
1st Place: Vampire Slayer Cross & Signed copies of both books ($50 Value)
2nd Place: “I’m in love with a vampire” bottlecap choker & signed copies of both Rowan of the Wood and Witch on the Water ($30 Value)
3rd Place: 10 PDF eBooks sets of both Rowan of the Wood and Witch on the Water (10 winners)

RSVP below and get 25 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out Christine’s website here and get your questions ready for Thursday.
http://www.christineandethanrose.com/

Be SURE to give your friends this link: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=11648 so they can RSVP too! Lets show Christine the love she deserves from her friends in the US and abroad!

Followers

2009-09-22T23:23:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to write a wonderful post about authors reviewing reviews of their books (yes, it happened to me, and when I get off my ass I WILL post a link), but instead I noticed I have five followers. Unfortunately, my computer is this side of retired, so it's not loading who you are. Maybe I can look at work...

Random bit of glee: AN AGENT REQUESTED A FULL MANUSCRIPT!!
Random bit of blah: I lost my flash drive with the book on it. Hmm...blonde? Me? Nah! Luckily, I have a copy that's about three months old. Something is better than nothing, though.

Okay, I'll post this much: Mia Watt's response to my review is here. Go forth. Laugh.

The curse of Lestat de Lioncourt

2009-08-17T21:50:00.004-05:00

The rumor of Robert Downey, Jr's involvement in the next trip into Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles finally reached me today. I was excited, worried, but mostly disturbed. There seems to be a curse that follows those who portray Lestat de Lioncourt on the big screen. It’s as if the pressure of portraying such an influential figure in paranormal fiction batters down on the actor’s psyche and makes them do crazy things. Case in point…

Tom Cruise. Innovator. Academy Award nominee. Nut job.

I still have much love for my childhood crush. Even though he confuses and worries me, I saw Valkyrie in the theatre and obsess over his earlier work. But something happened after Interview with the Vampire. Okay, not just “something”, a few of them. Like Eyes Wide Shut, Vanilla Sky, and the actions pictured above.

Not convinced? I offer up Exhibit B…

Stuart Townsend. Man candy. Lover of tall blonde women. Houdini.

Granted, Queen of the Damned and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen were not Oscar worthy movies, nor were they produced very well, but they introduced me to this hunk of Irish man. His role in Trapped is what made me fall for him, however. It was dark and dangerous and I believed his role as a desperate father. Whatever happened to the man who took on Kevin Bacon and Courtney Love? I’ll tell you what…Lestat!

So you can see why I’m concerned for Robert Downey, Jr. He’s no longer Hollywood’s redheaded stepchild with a drug problem. His career has skyrocketed, including big budget movies like Tropic Thunder and inspirational movies like The Soloist. He’s reinvented himself. He’s grown up. He is Iron Man.

More Bitten Goodness

2009-07-27T21:17:00.001-05:00

UPCOMING EVENT: 7/28 Interview, Chat and Contest with Author Stacia Kane. Event starts at 10:30 am Central. Contest runs until 11:59 pm PDT on 7/29.

Location: online at Bittenbybooks.com

Description: Join us with author Stacia Kane who will be at http://bittenbybooks.com/ to talk about her NEW book release Demon Inside.

She’s also giving away an AWESOME prize!

A $30.00 gift certificate to Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Contest is open to readers worldwide.

RSVP below and get 50 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out Stacia’s website here and get your questions ready for Tuesday.

http://www.staciakane.net/

UPCOMING EVENT: 7/30 Release Party, Chat and Contest with Author Rita Herron. Event starts at 10:30 am Central. Contest runs from 7/30-8/4.

Description: Join us with author Rita Herron who will be at http://bittenbybooks.com/ to talk about her release Dark Hunger.

She’s also giving away an AWESOME prize!
A $75.00 gift certificate to Amazon
Contest open to readers worldwide

RSVP below and get 50 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.

Check out Rita’s website here and get your questions ready for Thursday.
http://www.thedemonborn.com/

Feel free to use the contest banner below to promote the event on your blog or website! Link back to it here: http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=8819

Shameless Bitten By Books Promotion

2009-07-21T10:38:00.004-05:00

Today's big event:
Guest Blog, Chat, and Contest with Author Jackie Kessler
Chat with Jackie or Justice, the super heroine from Black and White, the fantabulous compilation novel written by Jackie and Caitlin Kittridge.

Later on this week we have...

UPCOMING EVENT: 7/22 Release Party, Chat and Contest with Author Jeaniene Frost. Event starts at 10:30 am Central. Contest runs from 7/22-7/27.
Location: online at Bittenbybooks.com
Description: Join us with author Jeaniene Frost who will be at http://bittenbybooks.com/to talk about her release Destined for an Early Grave.She’s also giving away some AWESOME prizes!1st Prize: A $75.00gift certificate to Amazon or B&N2nd prize: A $25.00gift certificate to Amazon or B&N3rd Prize TEN autographed copies of her new release Destined for an Early GraveContest open to readers worldwide!
RSVP below and get 50 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.
Check out Jeaniene’s website here and get your questions ready for Wednesday. http://www.jeanienefrost.com/

UPCOMING EVENT: 7/23 Interview, Chat and Contest with Author Mike Carey. Event starts at 10:30 am Central. Contest runs from 7/23-7/24.
Location: online at Bittenbybooks.com
Description: Join us with author Mike Carey who will be at http://bittenbybooks.com/ to talk about his new release Dead Men’s Boots.He’s also giving away some AWESOME prizes!SIX copies of her new release Dead Men’s BootsContest open to readers worldwide!
RSVP below and get 50 entries to the contest when you show up on the day of the event. If you don’t show up and mention your RSVP AND ask a question, you won’t be entered into the contest.
Check out Mike’s website here and get your questions ready for Thursday. http://www.mike-carey.co.uk/

(Review) Prey, Rachel Vincent

2009-06-29T11:23:00.003-05:00

Official blurb:

Sometimes playing cat and mouse is no game…

Play? Right. My Pride is under fire from all sides, my father's authority is in question and my lover is in exile. Which means I haven't laid eyes on Marc's gorgeous face in months. And with a new mother and an I-know-everything teenager under my protection, I don't exactly have time to fantasize about ever seeing him again.

Then our long-awaited reunion is ruined by a vicious ambush by strays. Now our group is under attack, Marc is missing and I will need every bit of skill and smarts to keep my family from being torn apart. Forever.

On Rachel's discussion board, she mentioned that in Pride, she broke a major convention by breaking up Marc and Faythe and that there was some concern over it. Then she mentioned that an even bigger convention was broken in Prey. I was, of course, foaming at the mouth in curiousity. Does Marc die? Does something happen to Faythe to make it impossible for her to be with him, or anyone for that matter? My bets were on the death of Faythe's father, Greg, or possibly Kaci, the young werecat introduced in Pride. I was so wrong. So wrong.

This book is really a turning point in this series. Yes, a lot of maturing went on in Pride, but this is when Faythe steps up and shows that she's Alpha material. The decisions that she makes regarding her own safety, the future of the pride, and her relationships are so far removed from the Faythe in Stray or even Rogue that I was amazed it was the same woman.

When The Big Event finally occurred--and I spent most of the book holding my breath and waiting for it--it was written so powerfully, that tears streamed down my face. I firmly believe that there is no crying in fiction, but I couldn't help myself. The situation, the pain, "Faythe, help me", everything culminated into one giant lump in my throat.

Prey wasn't all heartache and tissues. Ethan and Jace, Faythe's brother and his best friend, have much more prominent roles. As a member of Team Jace (I'm split about 60/40 on the whole Jace/Marc issue, but Jace is still winning my heart), this made me very happy. We get to see a softer side of the party man, both with Kaci and Faythe, and since it's Jace's stepfather who's been causing so much trouble, we also get to see a more grown-up side of him. He can't jump from bed to bed forever, and he's finally getting that. His future is on the line along with the pride's, and I'm excited to see if he lives up to his potential.

Things I Will Do If I Am Ever a Vampire

2009-06-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

Things I Will Do If I Am Ever a Vampire
Or, Rules for the Modern Vampire

1. I will not pick off friends, family or neighbors of the Hero one at a time. This annoys the Hero and drives him into action. They'll still be there when he is dead.
2. There are thousands of sick people who want to be vampires. Why pick someone who doesn't?
3. The Hero will come armed with holy water, a cross and a stake. I will come armed with a 5.56 mm assault rifle and grenades. If the Hero has to cross open ground, there is no better way to reach out and touch someone than with a sniper rifle.
4. When biting women to make them slaves, I will bite them in out-of-the-way locations such as the inside of the thigh, the lower part of the breast, or another location not requiring painfully obvious alteration of clothing or ridiculous accessories to conceal.
5. I will equip my home with a marvelous device called a burglar alarm with an automatic dialer. It will be difficult for the Hero to kill me while under arrest for attempted breaking and entering.
6. My coffin will be concealed and will be a plain wooden box. The elaborate oak coffin with gold trim resting in the basement will be equipped with claymores designed to shred the body of anyone who opens it.
7. I will wear a watch and verify what time sunrise is every day.
8. The formal attire with cape will be reserved for special occasions. Jeans and a t-shirt will be fine for everyday wear as they are less noticeable.
9. I will wear white clothing, which does not set off my pallor as obviously as black.
10. If I can't avoid wearing black and acting weird all the time, I will go to bars that cater to that sort of clientele. It will make it more difficult for the Hero to pick me out of the crowd.
11. I will not engage in a battle of wits with the Hero. I plan on killing him anyway, so what's the point?
12. I will not dismiss a Hero as a mere mortal because he does not have my centuries of experience. Even inexperienced losers can get lucky.
13. There will be no windows, doors, elevator shafts, or air vents accessing my hidden lair that have any sort of access to the outside and down which sunlight can be directed using mirrors.
14. If there must be windows, they will be painted over and backed with steel plate so the Hero will face a rude surprise when he throws something through it at sunrise.
15. When I take the Hero's true love to make her my concubine and eternal slave, I will not show her off to goad the Hero into making an attack. That will goad the Hero into making an attack. She will be tucked away in a quiet room, watched over by my loyal servants until the Hero is dead.
16. I will not transform children. Their bodies will stay the same age forever while their minds grow older and they will become whiny and disobedient.
17. I will not use bug-eating morons as servants. Pretty females dressed in little French maid outfits are more visually appealing and can also distract the Hero.
18. While castles and mansions are traditional and have a certain flair, the two bedroom bungalow is less noticeable in suburbia.
19. My home will not have wooden furniture, the legs of which become sharp, pointed sticks at inopportune moments.
20. I will have one of my entranced subjects constantly observing the Hero and his party. I always want warning if they go to a lumber yard.
21. My home will have mirrors, but they will be located in places such as the bathroom where I am unlikely to be at the same time as the Hero or his friends.
22. I will not change into a bat, scuttle up walls, fly, or hypnotize people when there might be witnesses.
23. All my concubines will be fully aware that they are not to seduce, attack or even bother visitors staying in the castle unless they have express consent from me.
24. The blood in the refrigerator will be stored in a tomato juice container, and there will be ordinary food in there for camouflage.
25. I will get a voice coach and change my name. "Hi, I'm Bob," is less suspicious than "I am Dra--cu--la."
26. I will not associate with vampire theatres, vampire whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars, or vampire biker gangs. They attract attention.
27. I will spend no more than 10 years in any one location, and when I move it will be somewhere distant. I will not return to a previous home for a minimum of 80 years. Anyone who previously knew me will be either dead or senile.
28. I will be able to explain porphyria and why that unfortunate genetic condition is the reason I cannot go out in the sun.
29. I will force myself to look concerned and not hungry when someone accidently cuts himself.
30. A Kevlar vest with a ceramic trauma plate located over the heart is a rather trendy fashion accessory.
31. I will take seriously anyone who approaches me with a water pistol and a confident expression.
32. Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed wooden sticks will be taken from visitors by a servant at the door. Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a side room and shot in the knees, handcuffed, and chained to the wall, where they will provide lunch for my concubines.
33. Crossbows, spears, arrows, and other antique weapons with wooden or large blades will be banned from the castle. There is nothing wrong with a fine collection of rifles and handguns.
34. I will carry at least a .38 on my person and become proficient in its use. If the Von Helsing is holding me at bay with a religious symbol, or I am unable to use my vampiric powers for other reasons, I can always open fire.
35. I will be a strict atheist, so the Hero will be forced to use a copy of "The Skeptical Inquirer" or "Das Kapital," rather than a Bible, delaying him considerably.
36. Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic is not a major spice at that restaurant.
37. I will not take blood from people who take cocaine, speed or other addictive drugs.
38. All servants, concubines and assorted slaves will be under strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.
39. Servants, concubines and assorted slaves will have a zero-tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create more.
40. When recruiting new blood, so to speak, I will first enslave those who might notice odd behavior in my future concubines. Therefore, I take the teachers at the all-girls school first.
41. All future concubines will be screened and have complete background checks. Those with relatives named Van Helsing will be removed from consideration. The irony is not worth the risk.
42. Nothing says the Hero can't be a cripple or be suffering massive trauma from a shotgun blast before he becomes lunch.
43. I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal servants, concubines and assorted slaves are for. Besides, his true love is probably tastier.
44. All future concubines will be strip-searched for rosaries, crucifixes and garlic before I approach them.
45. All cute but spunky kids in the community who express an interest in the supernatural will be identified and observed for sudden changes in behavior.
46. I will be an upstanding but otherwise undistinguished resident of my community, and will make sure that I cultivate enough friends so I will be warned of anyone spreading malicious rumors about me.
47. Since it will be the last thing they would expect, I will hire a Mafia hit team to take out the Hero and his friends. Let's see the crucifix protect them from an Uzi. (And if it does, I will immediately leave town, having been spying on them from several blocks away via a convenient hard-to-trace method of my choice.)
48. All villagers will be encouraged to send their children to the schools I will secretly finance. After a few years of modern education they will dismiss the legends told by their grandparents, several of which will undoubtably be ways to destroy me.
49. I will ignore all attempts to appeal to my former sense of humanity. I don't have any. That is why it is former.
50. I will remind myself that I am immortal, not indestructible.
51. All concubines will save the loose, transparent, flowing silk dresses for special occasions. I'm a modern sort of guy so I like a woman in leather and Kevlar, which provide more protection so she lasts longer in a fight.
52. Although firearms are useless against me and the concubines, they work quite effectively on the Hero and his friends. Therefore, all concubines will be armed and taught to shoot. They will use hand and fang in attack only as a last resort.
53. All bodies of former meals will be destroyed in a manner that will make bite marks and the absence of blood impossible to identify.
54. I will not send bodies or parts thereof of former friends, relatives, mentors or lovers to the Hero in order to demonstrate my complete mastery over life and death.
55. I will not demonstrate knowledge inappropriate for someone of my apparent age.
56. I will not begin a vendetta against someone who has destroyed a fellow vampire that I was fond of. They have clearly demonstrated they have the ability to destroy me.
57. More vampires mean a lower prey ratio: I will carefully consider if I really want more of us running around.
58. All the cutlery in my house will be either stainless steel or plastic - no silver. (Besides, I might accidentally cut myself.) Ideally, the steel will have a special surface that makes it look like silver, so the Hero will waste his time trying to stab me with it.
59. I will keep important bits of my home flooded with a non-flammable poisonous gas at all times. Not needing to breathe is a usefull skill.
60. As cancer isn't a particularly large concern for me, I'll wear asbestos clothing.
61. I will make lots of long-term investments. With the great wealth I get from that, I shall endow a genetics program aimed at producing cows whose udders secrete human blood or a palatable imitation thereof. Then I can go to McDonald's for dinner instead of bothering the Hero's womenfolk.
62. While it may offend my dignity, whining incessantly will indicate that I am the protagonist, and will enable me to avoid the attentions of Heroes.
63. As cute as the Vampire Slayer is, there are other girls just as cute who are not capable of destroying me.
64. I will not engage a "Vampire Slayer" in martial arts combat, as that seldom seems to work out well.
65. If I find out that there is a "Vampire Slayer" living in the vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the advantages confered by that particular location.
66. When faced with a gang of spunky kids determined to stop my evil schemes, I will consider surrender. Or mailbombs.
67. I will put on lots of makeup and fur and howl at the moon every once in a while. This should confuse the hero, and will probably enable me to get away with a silver bullet or two.
68. I will not consider property crimes beneath my dignity. Carjacking is a good source of income, and I don't have to worry much about the possibility of something going wrong.

Etymology for the masses

2009-06-15T09:45:00.002-05:00

First of all, Happy 15th Anniversary to Red Sage Publishing! Bitten By Books is having a huge event for them today. Official blurbage:

Join us on Monday 6/15/09 as 13 paranormal authors from Red Sage Publishing join us for a FUN day of truth or dare, chatting and of course a contest! Red Sage is celebrating their 15th birthday this month!They will be giving away some amazing prizes, so show up and find out more about these fabulous authors and see what goodies they may have for you! Be sure to bring your party hats, because these ladies know how to tear the house up! Contest portion of the day is open to readers worldwide!

I was looking at my handy dandy Forgotten English calendar and was blessed with the origin of eerie. Etymology fascinates me, especially with strange words that mean strange things. Eargh (or earh), meaning superstitiously afraid, was my gift today. Fascinating, huh??

I'm way too hyper today

2009-05-21T12:17:00.002-05:00

Kansas according to Jeff Foxworthy:

If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Kansas.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Kansas.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Kansas.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Kansas.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Kansas WHEN "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend.

If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Kansas.

If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you might live in Kansas.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,without flinching, you might live in Kansas.

If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Kansas.

If you install security lights on your house, and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Kansas.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Kansas.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Kansas.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,you might live in Kansas.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Kansas.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Kansas.

If you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age, you might live in Kansas.

If Going Down South means Oklahoma, you might live in Kansas.

If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Kansas.

If your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might live in Kansas.

If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Friday, you might live in Kansas.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car; you might live in Goodland, Kansas.

If you find 0 degrees to be "a little chilly", you might live in Kansas.

Get Hooked and a Missing Spleen

2009-05-14T11:59:00.001-05:00

Moira Rogers is holding a wonderful contest to get readers hooked on series novels. Click away my friends for your chance at a free book. There are a few on there that I've read, and even more I'm excited about!

I know I've been a bad blogger. Shit happens. Like my spleen leaving for Reno at the end of the month. Ash, you will be missed! :' (

Bitten By Books Birthday Bash!!

2009-05-04T11:00:00.003-05:00

It's officially Day 4 of the Bitten By Books birthday celebration. Three winners have been announced, and there are more to come!

Today's contest asks what your favorite vampire movies are and who your favorite literary vamp is. (cough cough, BONES, cough cough) Tomorrow stop by for guest Terri Garey, author of the Nicki Styx series, and enter for a copy of You're the One That I Haunt.

Also, BBB posted its thousandth review! The honor went to Storm Born by Richelle Mead. Viewers chose the winner (Ravenous by Sharon Ashwood was in the lead for a while, skipping past Melissa Marr's Wicked Lovely).

Keep checking Bitten for more updates. Rachel has a lot planned for this month and not even we reviewers know what to expect!

Contest with Lori Handeland!!!!!!

2009-04-24T11:15:00.003-05:00

Have I mentioned how much I love The Phoenix Chronicles by Lori Handeland? Because I do. A lot. Mysterious shaman, crazy vampires, and wicked creatures--what more could a paranormal lover ask for?

How about a chance to win the newest installment, Doomsday Can Wait? Head over to Bitten By Books for the chance to win one of FIVE copies of the second book in The Phoenix Chronicles. Start a convo, spread the love, and win a wonderful book. What are you waiting for??

(Review) The Thirteenth Step, Moira Rogers

2009-04-22T10:43:00.001-05:00

The first time he saw her under the flashing lights on the dance floor, Blake thought it was his imagination. The second time, he thought he’d seen a ghost. The third time brought a harsh curse to his lips, because he knew the truth was far more disturbing than either of those options.

There is not a more perfect way to begin The Thirteenth Step by Moira Rogers than the above paragraph. Bella and Blake’s story is vague but enticing and ensnaring you into its sticky web, distracting you with raw sexuality while it plants the knife of emotion in your back.

Rarely do you see lovemaking used so artfully as to describe an entire relationship—the balance for control, the false faces (both physical and verbal), the absolute devotion, and the acceptance of the inevitable. Without a doubt, The Thirteenth Step deserves 5 tombstones, a dozen roses, and a standing ovation.

Interview and Contest with Author Christine Rose

2009-04-17T13:08:00.003-05:00

Interview and Contest with Author Christine Rose

Posted using ShareThis

The above is the boring little blurb ShareThis gave. *shakes head* This is a VIDEO interview (oooh, aaaah) and Christine will be around to answer questions. And don't forget about the chance to win a copy of Jim Butcher's Turncoat or the interview and contest with the fabulous S. J. Day. If her Marked series is as good as it sounds, it could blow away the current UF competition.

Contest: Annaliese Evans and Jim Butcher

2009-04-13T12:14:00.004-05:00

Today's guest at Bitten By Books is Annaliese Evans, author of Night's Rose. The contest is open for five days, so stop by, ask a question, and enter to win an $80 gift card to Amazon!

Also, don't forget that ten copies of Jim Butcher's newest Dresden Files, Turncoat, will be up for grabs later today. Contest will run until 4/20.

Short but dirty

2009-04-09T09:12:00.003-05:00

Today's Forgotten English offering had me rolling on the floor in tears.

Word: Corvette
Definition: A young sodomite

ROTFLMAO

Next time you see a big red corvette, you won't be able to get the image out of your head. But now it makes sense that Prince sang a song about one...

Today is also the anniversary of the death of Francois Rabelais, the satirist. His dying words have to be among my favorites: "I am going to seek the 'Great Perhaps'. Bring down the curtain--the farce is over."

Interview and Contest with Jeri Smith-Ready at Bitten By Books

2009-04-01T15:13:00.005-05:00

Jeri talks about cake, OCDs, and why vampires don't suck (Hahaha, I am soooo funny) over at Bitten By Books today. She's answering questions, too, so don't be shy. Pull up a chair and join the fun! (Egads, I'm cliched today)

What wonderful prize is Jeri offering? Sixteen iPod shuffles and two $25 Visa cards. And all you have to do is say hi, maybe read the reviews and start a conversation, or spread the word. The more you spread 'em, the better off you are. : )

I'm sorry. I really don't know what's wrong with me. After suffering through The Book That Shall Not Be Named, I started Forbidden: The Claim by Samantha Sommersby and couldn't sleep. It was full of cheesy sexual dialogue ("Oh, Ren!" "Oh, Violet!") but is an excellent, witty, sexy, and best of all, quick read. Unfortunately not quick enough for me to get a descent night's sleep, thus the bad jokes and horrible puns. My apologies.

[Cover] Winter's Kiss, Deborah Cooke

2009-04-01T11:03:00.004-05:00

Recently, I've become a fan of dragon novels. Dragons themselves have always interested me (hence the giant tattoo on my back), but dragon novels were always too Fantasy for me. But one dark, and stormy night at Borders, I stumbled upon Deborah Cooke's Dragonfire series, and have been a fan of the scaley and winged persuasion ever since.

Kiss of Fate, the third in the series, grabbed me by the heartstrings so now I have to patiently wait (yeah, me and patient, not so good of friends) until November when Winter Kiss is released. Not sure how I feel about Delaney in the "hero" role, but I'm willing to chance it to find out what happened to Sophie and her dragon protector.

Now this...this makes thought difficult. I think it's about Sabin or something. Who cares? Look at it!

*shakes self*

Okay, seriously, this is a very intersting series. A bit stereotypical in the He-man Beat Things Up For Woman way, but enjoyable nonetheless. The characters are rich, and the heroine in the second one (I can not for the life of me remember her name) was an absolute trip.

Beyond the suspension of disbelief

2009-03-30T15:39:00.003-05:00

So I'm reading this e-book that grabbed my attention--a woman must choose between three werewolf brothers. Hot stuff, right? No, not right. Not right at all.

As a lover of all things paranormal, my "suspension of disbelief" threshold is rather large. Vampires, demons, and women who can live with one man for hundreds of years? Yeah, have to be flexible to get into those stories. What I can NOT get into is a story so convoluted, that I find myself quoting it to co-workers to make sure I haven't lost my mind and yes, someone actually wrote this!

Books written in third-person don't normally bother me, but the change in narrator from one sentence to the next (not section, or even paragraph, but SENTENCE) became distracting. I understand that in certain situations, it's best to get the thoughts of multiple characters. Okay, I'm fine with that, just do it in a cohesive, understandable manner!!

The characters...oh, the characters...describing themselves as having 6 pack abs...listing their exact height multiple times, as if I run around saying to myself, "as a 5' 2" female"...and their actions! Everything is so important it has exclamation points! And continuity? What's that?! The female main character has been kidnapped, raped, and brutalized, but when she's making out with one of the guys who helps her to safety, she's completely okay with him grabbing her by the hair and forcing a kiss upon her. After waking up next to him naked when they totally didn't fall asleep that way.

I don't know about you, but after being raped by multiple men when I was previously a virgin, I wouldn't feel like even looking at a man.

But oh, the best of the best, was when the bad guy, a man who spent good money BUYING this woman from her drug dealer brother, and then spent good time WHIPPING HER and TYING HER UP in his basement, then RUNNING HER OFF THE ROAD in his car...what does he do?

HE BRINGS POLICE OFFICERS TO THE PLACE HE THINKS SHE'S AT.

I'll let that soak in...

Yes, the Big Bad Guy calls the cops.

*shakes head* This is too much. Way. Too much. And I'm not even halfway through!!

[Cover] Destined for An Early Grave and Amber Benson Contest!

2009-03-24T11:26:00.005-05:00

Egads!! Jeaniene Frost has certainly been blessed by the cover gods!! This was her offering today. : ) Take a look at the stepback. I think I fell in love with Bones all over again. All that rippling muscle and the way his coat billows around Cat...*sigh*

That's not the only excitement of the day! Have you stopped by Bitten By Books yet? Well why the hell not? There's an interview and contest with actress/author Amber Benson. Up for grabs? Three copies of Death's Daughter.

So go on, comment on the review, leave Amber a question, and try not to go totally Fan Girl (or Boy). : )

While you're there, check again to see if you're a winner. Hey, I won a copy of Dakota Cassidy's The Accidental Human, so anything is possible.

And craziness ensued...[EDIT] And Unholy Ghosts Cover!!

2009-03-23T13:43:00.004-05:00

At some point this week, I'm going to list the books I've read this year (for the love of God, I've read a lot!) and separate them into categories, like Light and Funny, or Dark and Morose, and other cliched phrases that make me smile.

And when I say "this week", I mean maybe by the end of the year.

Because I have the power of Google on my side, I won the contest Molly Harper was having for a signed copy of her new book, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs, and other promotional material that makes me jump up and down with my fist in the air. Fear not, there's another change to win over at AmberKatze's Blog.

From everything I've heard, this is not a book to miss. It's been following me around the web since Janet Reid first mentioned it, so it has to be good. Only the best of books stalk me.

There's still time to win one of five signed copies of Karen Chance's Curse the Dawn, releasing April 7th. I almost had this book to review...almost!!!!!...but another reviewer swooped in and claimed it before I could. *grumble*

Also, don't forget to check out the great interview and contest over at Bitten by Books with Sunny! There are seven copies up for grabs for that one.

Oooh...shiny....check out the cover for the first in Stacia Kane's new series, Unholy Ghosts. Backblurb says:

THE AFTERLIFE IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

The world is not the way it was. The dead have risen and constantly attack the living. The powerful Church of Real Truth, in charge since the government fell, has sworn to reimburse citizens being harassed by the deceased. Consequently, there are many false claims of hauntings from those hoping to profit. Enter Chess Putnam, a fully-tattooed witch and freewheeling Debunker and ghost hunter. She’s got a real talent for nailing the human liars or banishing the wicked dead. But she’s keeping a dark secret from the Church: a little drug problem that’s landed her in hot and dangerous water.

Chess owes a murderous drug lord named Bump a lot of money. And Bump wants immediate payback. All Chess has to do is dispatch a very nasty species of undead from an old airport. But the job involves black magic, human sacrifice, a nefarious demonic creature, and crossing swords with enough wicked energy to wipe out a city of souls. Toss in lust with a rival gang leader and a dangerous attraction to Bump’s ruthless enforcer, and Chess begins to wonder if the rush is really worth it. Hell, yeah.

2009-03-22T00:16:00.002-05:00

*swoon* I'll be your bad girlfriend...

It's the Elvis hair that does it. And the eyes. And the voice. Damn! Unfortunately, I think he hates women. None of their songs are very complimentary to the fairer sex.

So, to lift my spirits, a little something from Everclear. I can't get enough!!

[Edited] Random Acts of Blogness

2009-03-18T10:46:00.001-05:00

Hopefully, my days of Bad Bloggerhood are over. But I doubt it. : )

Carrie Vaughn had a great link for a writing workshop from June to July of this year. It’s called the Odyssey Fantasy Writers Workshop and for the length and breadth of its offerings, the price isn’t too horrible. If I didn’t have a small child, I’d consider it myself.

Ever heard of the Dictionary of American Regional English? Me neither, but it looks pretty neat. It helps you find out whether you call it pop, coke, or soda depending on the region you’re in, and various other oddities we Americans like to use. Worth checking out, even though the printed edition won’t be out until 2010.

I was looking for this wonderful character building worksheet I found a few months ago when I stumbled upon this. The wealth of information on heroes, heroines, villains, and other random information we writerly folks like to procrastinate research with is astounding, and the linkage is entertaining in itself.

Rachel Vincent posted a teaser of her YA My Soul to Save over at the Deadline Dames. Short, but sweet!

In my personal mission to sabotage my hopeful writing career, I’m debating changing my novel from First Person POV to Third Person. Yes, all 90,000 words of it. *head desk* My masochistic tendencies astound even me! For me, writing in First Person is just easier, but I see how the reader can get cheated on experiencing some of the other characters and have heard many times how much Romance readers (and it’s a Paranormal Romance) hate First Person. So I’m freaked, and acting out, and will do massive amounts of procrastinating research to see if it’s worth it.

Continuing on with the randomness…

My beautiful Forgotten English calendar was floundering for a while, but has redeemed itself this week. California-widow, or grass-widow, is one of my favorite phrases now. It’s nothing special—just a married woman whose husband is gone for a long amount of time—but it rolls of the mind so nicely I can’t help but adore it. That and the fact that the waltz used to be considered *gasp* obscene! Granted, this was in the eighteenth century, but I can’t help laugh when I think how the current dance trend is basically to have sex on the dance floor, and the WALTZ was obscene.

Cover: Queene of Light, Jennifer Armintrout

2009-03-16T15:57:00.002-05:00

This is just a small version of it; if you go to Jennifer Armintrout's website, you can get the bigger version and read the back flap. Sounds like a far leap from Blood Ties, but very intriguing. I like that the angels and demons are with the vampires and werewolves. : )

New tattoo and more contests!

2009-03-13T21:03:00.003-05:00

Is that not the most beautiful tattoo you've ever seen?? Yes, it's glorious, and no, it didn't hurt TOO badly. It's tattoo number four, the first professional one, and a present from my husband to get me to lessen my stress load.

Enough about me. Once again, there are a ton of contests going on. Bitten By Books has a ton going on right now:

C. E. Murphy had a great interview involving her various series, dislike of vampires, and a contest for her upcoming release, The Pretender's Crown. And check out the reviews for her books. I may have written some of them... : )
Miss Fabulous herself, Dakota Cassidy, also made an appearance. There's a link to the first chapter in her newest release, The Accidental Human, and a contest for a copy of the book!
Last on the Bitten Tour is an interview with Molly Harper and her much gossiped of Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs. Her contest includes an autographed copy of the book, a signed cover flat, bookmarks, and an RC Cola and Moonpies!!

Amber over at Amberkatze has a great contest as well. Answer what the best book you've read this year is and you can win Jaye Well's debut Red-headed Stepchild!

Contests, contests, contests! All care of Bitten By Books.

2009-03-04T21:02:00.007-06:00

I'm a lazy blogger. And I'm okay with that.

Want an iPod Touch 8 GB? Buy Crux, pimp the book, and keep track of Bitten By Books for more chances to win. There are also gift cards up for grabs, but come on, an iPod! Who cares about the gift cards??
There's a wonderful review of Crux here by the glorious Sarai. Go, leave a comment, get more chances to win.

Okay, I have to brag. The contest is over, but 5 of my reviews were posted for the Nalini Singh contest. Here are Mine to Possess, Caressed by Ice, Slave to Sensation, Hostage to Pleasure, and Visions of Heat. Tell me what you think. : )

You can still win Carrie Vaughn's Kitty Raises Hell here. Edit: Thank you Chris for the correction. : )

I think there's more, but I'm drawing a blank for now. Oh well, surely that's plenty of free stuff for now!

(Cover) Bite Marks by Jennifer Rardin

2009-02-18T15:08:00.003-06:00

I am a total fan girl when it comes to Jennifer Rardin, so I was uber excited to see this!!!!!

Go to the link above to see how this pose was chosen, and go here to tell the author what you think!

(Cover) Death's Mistress, Karen Chance

2009-02-16T14:03:00.004-06:00

Ever since I finished Midnight's Daughter in a frezy of NO, WAIT, THIS CAN'T END! I've been stalking the net, waiting for news on a sequel.

Months later, and I finally have my reward...

Back blurb says what?

Dorina Basarab is a dhampir—half-human, half-vampire. Subject to uncontrollable rages, most dhampirs live very short, very violent lives. So far, Dory has managed to maintain her sanity by unleashing her anger on those demons and vampires who deserve killing.
Back home in Brooklyn after the demise of her insane uncle Dracula, Dory’s hoping her life is about to calm down. But then she gets some visitors. A friend wants Dory’s help in finding a magical Fey relic, and the gorgeous vampire, Louis-Cesare, is desperate to find his former mistress Christine.
Dory and Louis-Cesare quickly discover that the same master vampire Christine is bound to is also rumored to be in possession of the relic. But when the master vampire turns up dead, they realize that there’s more at stake than a missing mistress. Someone is killing vampire Senate members, and if Dory and Louis-Cesare can’t stop the murderer, they may be next…

It will be released this Fall, and knowing Karen Chance, a sample chapter will be up on her website.

This is what happens when you ignore your Muse for too long

2009-02-12T23:33:00.001-06:00

Surviving an apocalyptic event takes a certain degree of panache and wit that only a small number of people possess. I am not one of them.

The sky fell, babies cried, buildings crumbled onto the street as the frightened sounds of a caffeine-ridden population rose to the heavens. I choked on the cigarette I was inhaling, slammed into an escaping horde of school children, and fell into the path of a semi.

Like I said. Not. One of them.

There was an instant when the metal dented my skin, fracturing bone and spilling my blood, that I thought Oh shit. The moment only lasted as long as my head was attached to my body—five seconds max. Do you know what it’s like to see your body flying away from your head to connect with an electrical pole in a mass of gore and dangling sinew? Not an experience I recommend.

As I watched my body slide down the wood in a caress of splinters and cloth, a large black boot came into view, generously blocking the gruesome sight. The owner leaned down to peer at me with a bright, silvery gaze. He stuck his long fingers into my eyes and pulled me out of the sockets, arms, legs, and all.

A long glowing chain was wrapped around my waist, tying me to him, letting him pull me upward into the clouds and higher still. Had my body been solid and not made out of some bizarre mist, I’m sure vertigo would have hit and that delicious stir fry I’d just eaten would be floating down to land on an innocent passerby.

I took the opportunity to examine the strange man who’d plucked my essence from my eye socket. All I could see was a broad back tucked into a black t-shirt, long legs encased in a tight pair of jeans, and big black boots. Not much to go off of.

We landed in front of a tall, whitewashed office building. In front of the building were a row of men and women holding spirits captive in their glowing chains.

“Heaven is an office building?”

The man holding my life force in his greedy palms finally turned to look at me. If I’d had a breath, I would have caught it. His silver eyes weren’t the only remarkable thing about him. Strong lines created a divine face. Of course it was divine. He had to be an angel to bring me to heaven. Thick, curling black hair fell around his eyes, and down to his shoulders, scraping the collar of his t-shirt.

I think I fell in love in that moment; I know I lost whatever part of me had remained post mortem. All I cared about was the fathomless pits inside those beautiful eyes.

And then he spoke, and I knew I was a goner.

“Heaven? No, heaven is not an office building.” His smile was a killer, displaying gleaming white teeth. I melted at the sight of his open mouth and the screams of terror that flowed freely from it. He must have been a busy boy to devour that many souls. And by the sly curl of his lips, I could tell I was next on the menu.

Would it be so bad to slide down that sensuous throat, become a part of this light-eyed stranger, and join the chorus of voices vying for attention?

No, I don’t think it would. After all, no one said love was perfect.

Vampire Diaries: The Series

2009-02-09T11:00:00.002-06:00

Holy bloody fangs, Batman! This is either a dream come true or a nightmare of epic proportions. L. J. Smith's glorious series, The Vampire Diaries, is becoming a TV show on the CW. I've been reading this series since it first came out almost 16 years ago. Yes, I was in elementary school, no, I'm not that freaking old!!

Elena, Stefan, and Damon are among my favorite fictional characters to this date. Damon will always be my favorite bad boy, and I can't wait to see the hell he unleashes in the newest book in the series releasing tomorrow, The Return: Nightfall.

I'm not supposed to be buying books for a while because I grew up and got a big girl car. Big girl payments are not fun, especially when I must sacrifice my dirty little habit. But I think I can con...um, convince...my husband to get it for me. If I ask reeeeaaaaalllll nice and maybe do laundry.

What do you expect? I was sick!

2009-01-29T22:43:00.008-06:00

Instead of writing like a good little girl, I did an amazing amount of reading this week. I swear to all that is holy, if that flu bug hits this house one more time, IT'S WAR!!!!!!!

A few of my highlights were Eve Silver's Demon's Hunger, Nalini Singh's Caressed By Ice, Rachel Vincent's Pride, and Lara Adrian's Midnight Awakening.

It's been a few months since I visited the Psy/Changeling world, and I am glad to be back! Can't find Mine to Possess to save my life, but that's a rant for another day...

Caressed By Ice was a pleasant surprise. The first two books in the series were about sensual, dominant Changeling males breaking stiff, stoic Psy females from their emotionless prison in Silence. It's a common romance theme to have a heavy-handed male rip the bodice off his timid woman, but Caressed was a beast of a different nature: our heroine was Brenna, a previously beaten and battered (in more ways that one) Changeling female and our hero was Judd, a deadly Psy male whose life depended on his training under Silence.

This may be my favorite in the series so far. Brenna was unapologetic in her desire and feelings, pushing Judd until he had to face his emotions. The conflict became more involved, both in the greater political arena and in regard to the protags. Nalini is a master at weaving her romance without being atypical. I get so tired of of the typical outline:

Act I: Man and woman meet but man is too scared to become involved. Not too scared, however, to screw the woman's brains out. With much reference to engorged members and heaving bosoms.
Act II: The Evil One is introduced, generally in a third person narrative where his contrived plot is brought to light and how badly he's going to fuck with the protags while trusting mindless drones to do his important tasks. Seriously--the MINDLESS part of mindless drone should totally stand out to an evil genius.
Act III: Woman does something moronic out of annoyance with her alpha male, thus becoming ensnared in The Evil Ones trap and forcing man to save her after suffering much pain and horrifyingly boring emotional drivel.

I don't have to worry about that with Nalini's writing! *le sigh* 'Tis glorious...glorious...

Now for the official stuff:
The Blurb: Here's hoping cats do have nine lives

I’m on trial for my life. Accused of infecting my human ex-boyfriend—and killing him to cover up the crime. I’m not guilty. But tell that to the panel of Alphas sitting in judgment. Infecting a human is one of three capital offenses recognized by the Pride—along with murder and disclosure of our existence to a human.

I’m two for three. A goner.

On top of that, Marc is in danger of being tossed from the Pride, then we discovered a rogue stray terrorizing the mountainside, hunting a wild teenage tabbycat. I think I can protect her from both the ambitious rogue and the scheming of the territorial council.

If I survive my own trial…

Rachel Vincent is hosting quite a contest on her blog around Pride's February 1st release. Prizes? A signed set of her Shifter series, or a B&N gift card, and chocolate!!!

Now the unofficial stuff:

Pride was another beacon in the night. (Note: all four books where WONDERFUL, but for reasons of laziness, I'm only discussing two) My husband bought the first book in the series for me after much hemming and hawing on my part, worrying over whether a new author was worth the money. Totally was. Totally.

Character development seems to be one of Rachel's strong points. Faythe has matured from a sniveling girl to a young woman who still makes mistakes but is trying to rectify them. I liked seeing her consider the consequences (albeit a tad late in some instances) of her actions and debating on the right course of action whether than automatically shooting off at the mouth.

Not only that, but I grew to like Marc. I know, I know, I've been Anti-Marc since the beginning, towing my load behind Jace. But after Pride, Marc has my heart and my respect. He's hard-headed and I want to throw him into a wall at times, but he's grown into a leader, and I can't wait to see if he gets the chance to prove it.

I heard a song today that reminded me of Pride. A little odd, and a bit more extreme than the events in Pride, but still applicable. At least, I think so. (And yes, it's a cover. I love both versions dearly!!)

Me and My Bag of Moonshine

2009-01-22T14:00:00.001-06:00

The hubby and I went to see My Bloody Valentine last night for date night, and I was pleasantly surprised. For a horror movie, it wasn't bad. The 3-D definitely made it, though. Nothing like having a pick chucked at your head to make you sweat. The best part of the movie though was the trailer for the remake of The Last House on the Left. The original was more than fucked-off, which I adore in a movie, and the remake looks even more disturbing. Best of all was the chilling cover of "Sweet Child 'O Mine" by Taken by Trees. I think I'm love, honestly.

It makes me think--would I have the guts to do what was necessary in order to avenge a loved one, or would I cower away? I honestly don't know, and I hope I never find out.

Huh, I was going to blog about something else but I was distracted by blood and gore. Oh! Edits! *smacks head*

Edits are a daunting, daunting demon that likes to gnaw on my big toe when I'm not looking. My manuscript is roughly 300 pages, and because I'm a bad, bad girl, I print it off in order to edit. It's easier for me to find mistakes when I have a page in front of me instead of on the computer, but sifting through and making the corrections is truly a pain in the ass. I'm on page 175 right now and I want to gouge my eyes out. Intelligent me did the edits in blue, not red. Blue is not easy to find when the correction is a simple grammatical error

I've tried doing edits on the computer, but I get distracted too easily. If I'm on the computer, I'm on the Internet. That doesn't bode well for productivity.

To further delay my dreams of becoming Jackie, Super Writer, I've decided to flesh out the novel because there's too much going on. So now I get to research, research, research! Or, more accurately, spend gross amounts of money I don't have to buy books that I can't afford without getting in trouble with the hubby. : ) I can't go to the library...I kind of owe them money. A lot of it. What can I say, I don't like to give back books. Once their in my grubby hands, they're mine.

Urban Fantasy Land Readers' Choice Awards!

2009-01-21T21:20:00.003-06:00

Here’s how to play:

1. Vote.
2. On your own blog, journal or website, tell everyone about the URBAN FANTASY LAND READERS CHOICE AWARDS, linking to this post. You’ll be automatically entered into the draw for the $25 gift certificate.
3. Polls close at midnight 30 January 2009. Winners will be announced 31 January 2009.

This is a tough competition! Stacia Kane, Jennifer Rardin, Mark Henry, Rachel Vincent, and so many more are going head to head to be part of 2008's best novelists. Honestly, I had to close my eyes and choose at random on some of them.

Obsessed with the classics

2009-01-17T23:52:00.003-06:00

I thoroughly blame my Aunt Jan for my obsession with classic movies. Ever since I can remember, we'd watch black and white movies on Saturday mornings at my grandmother's house. She's done much more for me in my twenty some odd years, but it's this love that I return to whenever I feel down.

At first it was a curiosity--who are these men and women filmed in the most basic of colors without fancy special affects, wearing their hearts on their sleeves while spouting poetic lines that rival the masters?

I discovered TCM (Turner Classic Movies) by accident in middle school, racing to my sister's house after school to watch it while I looked after my niece and nephew. A whole new world was opened to me full of gangsters and Nazi's and the Big Bad Wolf.

Sydney Pollack's The Essentials fueled my curiosity, showing me what I may have missed during those distant Saturday mornings. It was where I first saw by far my favorite movie of all time, Notorious, a Hitchcock classic starring Ingrid Bergman, Cary Grant, and Claude Rains. The power of Grant's attract to Bergman and the measures he takes to keep his heart guarded will forever be the basis in which I grade romance movies and novels. I have yet to find a situation rivaling the emotion in the scene at the races, where Bergman is crying in his arms and Grant looks her straight in the eyes and says, "Dry your eyes, baby. It's out of character."

Without The Essentials, I never would have seen Paul Newman's shining eyes as he ate fifty eggs to win a bet, or seen Cary Grant jump around in a woman's robe proclaiming he'd just gone gay all of a sudden, or felt the sorrow of one man as he tried to quiet New York City so his sick child can sleep.

I fear that the appreciation of the classics is waning, especially in my generation. People no longer think of Frank Sinatra when you mention Danny Ocean, and Rebecca is thought simply as a woman's name. With more and more of the legends passing, it's imperative their memory lives on in their work.

Next time you're at the video store, check out the classics. Order a Jimmy Stewart movie from Netflix instead of a Brad Pitt one. You won't be sorry.

Want a taste of what you're missing?

"I'm suddenly very intelligent. It probably comes from making love to that French girl last night." Peter O'Toole, Becket
"If I am the Phantom, it is because man's hatred has made me so...If I shall be saved, it will be because your love redeems me." Phantom of the Opera, 1925
"God will not damn a poor lunatic's soul. He knows that the powers of evil are too great for those with weak minds." Renfield, Dracula, 1931
"There are far worse things awaiting man than death." Dracula, 1931
"I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer." Cary Grant, The Philadelphia Story
"No pope ever visits a city where the newspapers are on strike." Sidney Blackmer, Rosemary's Baby
"The crowd laughs with you always, but will cry with you for only a day." King Vidor's The Crowd

Book Trip of the Living Dead

2009-01-16T12:43:00.004-06:00

Since my newfound obsession with all things Darkyn, I've been devouring books and ignoring my querying and house cleaning duties. Last night I finished Dark Need fifteen minutes before Borders closed. I couldn't go all night without a new book!!

So, high on flu medication and suffering from cabin fever, my husband and I partook (is that a word?) on what has lovingly been deemed Book Trip of the Living Dead. The flu has been passed from the little guy, to the big guy, to me in the span of a week and I've barely moved from my chair since. We tried to stay away from humankind as much as possible, but I HAD to have the next book (okay, I grabbed the next two) in the series.

That one trip sapped all my energy and I only ended up reading half the book, but it was so worth it.

On a less stalkerish note, there is a TON going on over at Bitten By Books this week. There's a contest and interview with the wonderful Carrie Vaughn, author of the Kitty Norville series. While you're there, check out guest bloggers Missy Lyons and Marvin Wilson.

Now I issue a challenge to those few people who happen upon this blog. I was reading a very popular romance novel recently in which the hero and heroine were gettin' busy in the bathtub. It was your standard bathtub, your standard heroine, but the hero was damn near a giant at 6'5" yet they were still able to glide and roll and make long, sweet love.

How in the hell is this possible? My husband is 6'2" and he barely fits in the bathtub, much less is able to "glide" and pivot and do that crazy thing with his feet all paranormal heroes do. The love scene through me off from the book for a while. I mean, the author spent so much time making sure all the details flowed except for that one.

Does it bother anyone else? Or am I just being silly and it is in fact possible for a ginormous man to synchronized swim in a standard bathtub? Maybe it's the fever talking, I don't know.

Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me?

2009-01-12T19:51:00.003-06:00

Every person has his/her own definition of what is beautiful, what makes us pretty. It could be a child with big blue eyes and a wide smile or a tattoo of the grim reaper ripping someone's soul from his body. What do I think is pretty?

A montage...

I couldn't find Poe's music video...I'm very sad...

A little creepier, but still beautiful. A gorgeous woman with a gorgeous mind. It doesn't get better than that.

I stumbled upon Kidney Thieves after watching Queen of the Damned (equal parts shimmy and shudder) and fell in love.

Scrubs Zombie Hug

2009-01-10T01:43:00.002-06:00

Why Scrubs is the best show on television...

Yesterday was a cockwalk

2009-01-07T13:46:00.004-06:00

Quite a long one, too. : ) Jeffrey Kacirk's wise word of the day almost got my calendar banned from the office. What's so bad with cockwalk?? It's not like it was cockblock or any other derogatory term; it means a penalty given to a man who tries to woo a woman from a different town. In other words, this cock may not walk to get his rocks off.

Sadly, the cockwalk was the highlight of my day. Two of my critique partners admitted they think my protagonist may be a slut. First I must explain how our group works: we review one chapter at a time and there are often weeks between one chapter and the next from a particular author, as there are eight of us in the group. They've only read two chapters. As the story goes on, their opinion may (and should) change, but I don't like the fact that two chapters in and she seems like she just wants to lay down and take it. I hate that in books. Romance is one of my favorite genres, but the whole sex before brains thing kills me. I don't want that for my creation.

Now I have to figure out a different way to begin. I love my first line, My soul was really starting to piss me off, and I may be able to save it, but I need a different situation than the last of a series of really bad dates. You need to get to know Evie before you see her in that position. But how?

*shakes head* This is going to be a long weekend...

Twelfth Night, Red-headed Stepchild, and far too much information

2009-01-05T19:51:00.006-06:00

I forgot my calendar at work this weekend and had absolutely nothing of value to say, so this is going to be a long post!

My handy dandy gift calendar gave me an awesome surprise: it said that today marked the conclusion of Yule, known as Wassail Eve or Twelfth Night. And it's a drinking day! *raises glass* Salud. Okay, so it's drinking to your health ("waes hail" or "be thou healthy" according to the Norse, thus the origin of the name Wassail Eve), but I take it where I can.

In other, far more interesting news, Jaye Wells posted the first chapter of her debut novel, Red-headed Stepchild. If you haven't heard of it, you need to be slapped silly. From what I understand, she has a very interesting take on the origin (how many times can I say origin in this post?) of vampires involving the Garden of Eden, a slimy snake, and a delicious apple. But who says I'm right? Maybe you should check it out for yourself. : )

Katie MacAlister is holding a contest around her super secret writing project. Guess what it's about, and you could win! Personally, I think it's about a wooden boy who...wait...that's a different story...

As of now, there is still no release date for Stacia Kane's second Megan Chase book, Demon Inside. Stacia was kind enough to post an update, and we should be hearing something more definitive Thursday. I fell in love with the first book in the series, Personal Demons, as you can see by my review at Bitten By Books.

The best news of the day (even though I totally got screwed by the inability of the booksellers here to buy enough copies), is that One More Bite was released today! Fifth book in the Jaz Parks series, this book should lead Jaz and Vayl finally down the path toward a relationship. You know, as long as they can survive the multiple attempts on their life on the way. : )

I mentioned earlier (maybe last week) that I'd finally gotten around to reading A Hunger Like No Other by Kresley Cole. This was an extremely impressive book. At first I thought that it was going to be like so many romance novels where the man all but repeatedly rapes the woman while she lays still and takes it. Cole surprised me time and again wtih Lachlain's (the heroe) ability to go from out of control animal to honorable Lykae from one word to the next, threatening violence and sex, but backing down before things went too far. More than that, Emmaline (the heroine) successfully transformed from a naive, weak character to a force to be reckoned with. Kresley Cole is officially on my Must Be Read List.

What other books came out recently? Oh, that's right, AT GRAVE'S END!! Not only does it have one of the hottest covers I've ever seen, it's also one of the most well-written books I've ever read. And it made me cry. A lot. Which is saying something if you know me. Cat and Bones' relationship is tested, Justina becomes (gasp!) likable, and Vlad Tempesh of Dracula fame displays a really neat talent. My full review of the book is up over at Bitten By Books! *squee* I don't know why that makes me so happy. : )

Kitty Goes to Washington is next up for me. It's a reread, so I should be through it tomorrow (was supposed to read it last weekend) so it can be posted before Carrie Vaughn's next book, Kitty and the Dead Man's Hand, is released.

Ladies' Day

2009-01-02T11:35:00.003-06:00

One of my Christmas gifts to myself was Jeffrey Kacirk's Forgotten English calendar. What can I say, I'm a sucker for dying vocabulary and odd traditions. To try to get my blog motor revving more, I'm going to highlight (or attempt to remember to highlight) some of the funnier traditions I find.

Today's tradition? Ladies' Day! Originating in the Victorian era, it was a day where women "called on" men. The day itself isn't what sent me into fits of coffee-spewing giggles. No, it was the vocabulary accompanying it. The actual word of the day was chamberer. It can mean a mimbo (one of my favorite "new" words), a concubine, or an effeminate man.

The humor lies in the term "carpet-knight" that followed the effeminate male tag. Does this mean that I've stumbled upon an old world slang word for homosexual? Not that I applaud the use of derogatory terms against a group of people, but this is like solid gold to my sick and twisted ears. It means that WE ARE NOT THE ONLY ASSHOLES WHO DO THIS!! People have been assholes for years!

Now I'm curious. What other slang words can I find? The gloriously funny movie Role Models already gave me "whispering eye" (see: punani), and now I have "carpet-knight". I want more. I need more.

No Good White Trash Ho

2008-12-31T23:12:00.005-06:00

No, my husband didn't cheat on me. We heard this on the way home and it is hilARious.

Life lessons learned from "If Angels Burn"

2008-12-31T11:00:00.001-06:00

1) “One did not masticate the body of Christ”
2) “Viagra had nothing on the priesthood”
3) “One did not sport a boner during an audience with the bishop”

*rolling on the floor laughing* Classic! I love this book...

Buying Books Like It's Going Out of Style

2008-12-27T18:22:00.006-06:00

Merry Christmas to me!!! I didn't get many gift certificates this year, which is all good and well seeing as how I got a computer instead, so I've treated myself to literature. Mass amounts of literature. My aunt's gift made it easier, so I've done what I could to help the publishing industry this weekend. And will continue to do so throughout the week with my handy dandy $5 off coupons from Borders! Why? Because Borders is the shit. Barnes and Noble...not so much.

Day 1 of the book buying spree wrought much Kresley Cole. I just finished A Hunger Like No Other and am eager to see what else the author has in store because that book was AMAZING! Wonderful new take on the supernatural world, dynamic (if not a bit overbearing at times) characters, and crazy as Valkyrie. I love me some crazy warrior chicks. So, in order to properly spoil myself, I purchased No Rest for the Wicked (I want one of the thigh holsters Kaderin is wearing!!) and Dark Desires After Dusk. I'll be damned if I didn't just find out I need books 3 and 4, I bought 2 and 5! Ach! Despair has overtaken me...

Day 2 of the book buying spree delivered a more varied selection, and this time from The Evil Conglomerate Bent on Destroying My Place of Relaxation and Harmony Outside of the Messy House of Much Cat Litter. I was excited to see Night Rising by Chris Marie Green finally available. When I bought Break of Dawn, I thought it was the first book in the series. Not so...not so...Then I picked up Matters of the Blood by Maria Lima, another OMG, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT?? selection. I can't help it, though! I've been busy! And, the sweetest buy ever, If Angels Burn by Lynn Viehl. It is never, NEVER, at the store. Ever. And I've been a staunch supporter of Paperback Writer for quite some time now, so I'm excited to read one of her stories.

Next on the list of much spending is At Grave's End by Jeaniene Frost (December 30th is only a few days away) and One More Bite by Jennifer Rardin (January 5th...could you seem so far away??). I know there are many more books coming out, but those are my main two at the moment. I'm salivating just thinking about it.

How I love thee, Smokin' Aces

2008-12-24T00:42:00.003-06:00

Honestly, I don't know why I love this movie so much. Anytime it's on, I have to watch it. This week I think I've seen it four times. Obsessed much? Just a little.

I've always been a fan of action flicks, heart racing at the over-the-top theatrics and gun play. There's something different about Smokin' Aces. Something you don't normally get from a shoot em' up movie: heart. Not just the literal pulsating organ on the floor, either. Literal feelings from the characters, from the insane Tremor Brothers to the defeated FBI agent, there is heart in this movie.

The premise is basic: Las Vegas performer gets tied up in the mob and a hit is ordered on him. The best of the best come out in full force to either bring him in or take him out, depending on where the money is. Nothing goes as planned, damn near everyone dies, and Andy Garcia gets to make a scene behind glass doors. Classic Garcia.

And talk about a soundtrack. Good Lord almighty, I could bounce to that music all night. Actually, I have been, amidst editing and surfing.

Who is in this glorious movie? The question should be who isn't. We have: Ryan Reynolds as the emotionally unstable FBI agent who hands in his badge with aplomb; Ray Liotta as the wisecracking FBI agent who gives the Man without Fingerprints a run for his money; Jeremy Piven, Mr. Las Vegas himself (might I just add that his representation of a coke addict brought tears to my eyes--in all seriousness, it truly did); Ben Affleck, the short-lived bondsman; Common, who will shoot your ass then carry you to safety; the aforementioned Andy Garcia; Tommy Flanagan, the man with many faces; Nestor Carbonell, Matthew Fox, Kevin Durand, Alicia Keys, all crazy ass assassins. I can't even begin to mention everyone, though I've tried.

It's difficult to find a movie you can watch over and over again without rolling your eyes or wanting to fast forward. There is not a second in Smokin' Aces that I couldn't watch again. Brilliant, I tell you. Brilliant.

Nothing says happy holidays like hot men with mohawks killing a lot of people.

2008-12-20T14:25:00.004-06:00

Smokin' Aces has to be one of the most over-the-top, bloody, entertaining movies I've ever seen. The amount of bloodshed and body parts inspires the inner murderous muse to come out and play. And there are some rather nice looking men in it, as well. That never hurts. So, if you find you have spare time, and you've gone to Bitten By Books to check out the two reviews of mine they posted (Heart of Stone by C. E. Murphy and Personal Demons by Stacia Kane), take a moment to enjoy the glory that is the Tremor Brothers.

Smart Bitches Like Romance

2008-12-19T15:57:00.004-06:00

Those crazy women (who amuse me to no end) over at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books do the funnest things! They have a campaign going called Save the Contemporary, Save the World in response to the love of all things supernatural. Yes, I am a lover of the things that go bump in the night, but that doesn't mean that a regular man and woman shouldn't be able to share their story.

Why So Quiet?

2008-12-18T22:26:00.003-06:00

There's been a lot of radio noise lately. Not for lack of activity. I've been devouring books like they're chocolate covered strawberries. One of the stipulations of submitting reviews to Bitten By Books is that you don't post them in their entirety elsewhere. So most of my reviews are floating around, waiting for their turn to be posted. And boy, have I read some good ones!

The Negotiator series by C. E. Murphy has to be one of the most addicted series I've read. So much so that I went to Borders today, broke as I am, and had to buy Hands of Flame, the final book in the trilogy. The world is so rich and complex, you can't help but get wrapped up in it's intricacies.

And there's those damnable edits for WIP #2. NaNo may have been a blessing as far as word count, but there's a lot to clean up from my quick and hasty entries. So tonight, I vow to edit at least a chapter before I can read. In my haste to get Hands of Flame, I began Deborah Cooke's Kiss of Fire. After I finish that, there's no stopping me! Unless I need to do laundry...or, you know, take care of The Boy. Either way, it works for me. And so does this...*shivers*...

Bitten By Books At Grave's End

2008-12-16T13:04:00.003-06:00

Want to see something really neat? Like, maybe a chance to win an ARC of At Grave's End by Jeaniene Frost? Come closer...

Mad love for Jennifer Rardin and Yasmine Galenorn

2008-12-15T19:33:00.003-06:00

Busy, busy, busy have I been. Shit. I mean seriously!

Another mass blog from the uninspired. I've joined the ranks over at Bitten By Books and am still getting my bearings, so I'll be in and out for a while. That and working on the second draft and wrapping Christmas presents has kept me panting and breathless and totally not in the good way.

Keep your eyes on Reading with a Bite on Wednesday! The wonderfully fantabulous Jennifer Rardin will be in attendance, so get your ass over there and comment!

Also, Yasmine Galenorn will be discussing her hunks of the Otherworld over (where?) at Bitten By Books of course! Up for grabs is her newest installment, Night Huntress.

Stuart Townsend is screaming my name (don't I wish), so I leave you with an incentive:

Yes. He is a God. *drools*

F*ck Planet Earth (funny video)

2008-12-12T22:24:00.001-06:00

Fuck Planet Earth - watch more funny videos

Fangs, Fur, and Fey: First Book in a Series

2008-12-11T22:03:00.001-06:00

They Fight Crime!, Putzy Romance Folk

2008-12-11T21:59:00.003-06:00

Thanks to the fabulous women at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, I have a nugget of deliciousness that was too good to pass up: They Fight Crime! Result number 1?

He's a superhumanly strong moralistic Green Beret on a search for his missing sister. She's a green-fingered hypochondriac museum curator who believes she is the reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian queen. They fight crime!

How awesome is that?? Or this one:

He's an old-fashioned Amish paranormal investigator haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a man-hating extravagent lawyer with someone else's memories. They fight crime!

I normally don't blitz blog, but I have a ton to do today, leaving little time for me to think for myself. Stacia Kane has a very educational blog today about how the RWA thinks you're stupid. It's one of my favorite of her posts to date.

Like witty pucks? Check out Rob Thurman's button giveaway. I'm in for anything Leandros related!

Jennifer Rardin finished her "Cole gets a date" slew of shorts today. : ( I do so love those stories and miss the characters dearly...but I miss Vayl most of all!

And, to finish on a high note because my husband keeps staring at me to get off the computer, today is the last day for Lori Devoti's 30 Days of Vampires extravaganza (we're talking big names here folks, great stories, and vampires!!!) and it's Day 4 of Bitten By Books 15 Naughty Nights of Christmas. Today's festivities? Goodies from Savannah Chase!

The Ten is magical

2008-12-08T21:55:00.004-06:00

Before I say anything, the trailer:

The hubby and I rented this movie a few months ago and fell in love. It is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Justin Theroux plays a Jesus too busy for the rapture, Liev Schreiber collects cat scans, and Winona Rider really wants to do a dummy.

It takes a special brand of person to appreciate this humor. The End Credits:

The End is Nigh

2008-12-05T00:24:00.004-06:00

While I was checking my Yahoo!, I spied an interesting article: Anjelina Jolie is in a new edition of the Bible. The Book New Testament, with a cover to rival a good Urban Fantasy novel, includes photos of Jolie, John Lennon, and Bono alongside figures like MOTHER TERESA. Yes, that's right, they put the star of Gone In 60 Seconds in the same category as Mother Teresa.

There are no more words to express how I feel.

Positive Reinforcement and Entrails

2008-12-03T19:59:00.006-06:00

Jennifer Armintrout's podcast today got me thinking...did I do NaNoWriMo just to hear my co-workers and husband regale me with how wonderful I am, or was there a deeper reason? She made some very good points about people doing it solely to get recognition, as if amazingly they completed and edited a book to perfection in 30 days. It just isn't so. I'm proud of my 50,000+ words, but the book isn't done and it's quite craptastic at the moment.

So what's the point of NaNo if your book isn't done at the end?

For me, it was lighting a fire under my ass and making me move. I'm the queen of procrastination. No matter how badly I want to be published, I will find any distraction to excuse me from writing. It's awful. In November, I didn't have that excuse; I set a goal, I didn't allow myself to read, and I did it. My reward?

Red was in my grubby hands the day it was released, and I just now allowed myself to read it. Apparently I'm like a two-year old who only responds to positive reinforcement. I'm okay with that.

Quite a few people have asked me about the book that inspired my Halloween costume. I tell them all the same thing: it was fucking fabulous.

***This review is temporarily unavailable***

What's my next treat? After I hit another 15,000 - 20,000 words, I get to read:

I won damnit. I won!

2008-11-30T01:55:00.005-06:00

My goal was to finish NaNo today, leaving me tomorrow to sleep sleep sleep read and sleep. I thought it was but a dream. As of this morning I had a little under three thousand words to go, Thanksgiving with my family, and the birthdays of two nieces to celebrate.

We got home late, put the boy to sleep, and went outside. What did we find? Yes, our dog was missing. We'd been gone most of the day, so he could have been missing since 10 am and we didn't find out until about 10 pm.

When we adopted him from the humane society, he came with a microchip, so hopefully someone will take him in and we can find him. Hopefully.

In the face of this diversity, I still managed to write 3000+ words and am officially a NaNo winner. It feels good, but I feel guilty feeling good. Hopefully tomorrow morning I'll go out back and there he'll be, waiting to be fed. Then I celebrate properly.

My joy. My sorrow.

Holy sticky keyboard, Batman!

2008-11-26T22:38:00.003-06:00

I'm rather impressed with myself. It's 10:30 and I'm over my word count goal. After working all day, getting bamboozled at Wet Seal while Christmas shopping, and playing with the Little Guy, I've got up from yesterday's 400 word deficit and am now ahead!

*happy dances for one and all*

In the spirit of celebrating, I give you this:

And this:

And this:

Can you tell I have much love for music from the 90's?

Worst-Case Scenario and Tracy Bonham

2008-11-25T15:07:00.006-06:00

Whilst Christmas shopping at the local Target, I stumbled upon the best thing ever: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Card Game. Travel Edition!

The inviting scorpion on the cover screamed to be purchased. And so I did. It's one of the greatest creatures ever! Examples of the nuggets of goodness hidden in the yellow casing:

How to show respect to the Haitian flag: If in a car at 8:00 am, you are expected to stop, get out of the vehicle, and face the flag.

This is helpful information if you have a character who's investigating voodoo practices in Haiti, and they're taking an early morning cruise.

How to prevent shock from blood loss: Feed the victim animal meat or chicken soup to restore plasma and hemoglobin.

Very helpful for thriller/paranormal writers whose victims will experience being tortured and/or drained.

How to assemble a group to survive in frigid water: Cross your arms and ankles, and lean forward to float. Create a huddle, with larger members on the outside. Do not move.

Piss off a sea creature? Maybe an ice witch? Now you can survive!

I'm bringing these to my writing group to use as story starters. Hopefully they'll enjoy them as much as I have.

On a different note, I was rummaging through my CDs this morning and rescued Down Here by Tracy Bonham from certain feline annihilation. They kitties, they like to tear things up. I was so excited I brought the CD to work and no one really knew who she was.

WTF folks?? Tracy Bonham!!

Granted, her big hit was "Mother, Mother", but she is a wonderful, talented, lyrical artist who is vastly underappreciated. Down Here is in my top ten of all time albums.

I tried to put some nifty videos of hers on here (like The One, Freed, Behind Every Good Woman), but Youtube hates me today. I'll try later!

Love Actually is one of the best movies ever

2008-11-21T22:09:00.006-06:00

My very dear friend Gabby and I saw it in the theatres when it first came out and were instantly in love. What's there not to love? Hugh Grant dancing...delicious accents...and The Sign Scene. Being a devout member of the Church of Everlasting Pessimism, I deemed it my anti-scene. I've been waiting since then for a gorgeous man to knock on my door and berate me with a smile and signs proclaiming how much of an evil bitch I am.

(Please note...I'm not being serious...we joked about it, but I never thought it would really happen. I'm a bit off my rocker at times, but I'm not nuts.)

So tonight, as I watch the heavily edited version on Bravo, I wanted to regale any passers-by with scenes from this fantabulous movie.

This is an obvious choice. Do I really need to caption it?

The Anti-Scene.

This was when I fell in love with Bill Nighy. He broke my heart when you became a zombie, Bill. You broke my heart.

The expanded version.

Muse

2008-11-19T20:55:00.002-06:00

Many years ago (okay, like seven or eight), I was living at my parents house and watching TCM. I love love LOVE classic movies. They just don't make actors like Cary Grant anymore. Anyway, they had a promo video with a song that just stuck with me. It was beautiful, poignant, all those cliched words. Search as I might, I couldn't find it. Until last year...

The song is called "Time is Running Out" and it inspired a very powerful scene in my WIP.

I found it on accident, really. When 30 Days of Night came out, there was a song on the previews that made me imagine a brutal fight scene where two people who love each other are pitted against each other to the death.

There's something about their music that hits a cord with me. If I'm stuck in a scene or need to tap an emotion, all I have to do is put on Muse, and it flows.

Why the sudden rant on them? I recently heard that the soundtrack to Twilight had broke some kind of record for albums sold before the movie was released. So I had to check it out, and who was on it? That's right. My Muse! So is Paramore, Linkin Park, Collective Soul, Blue Foundation, and a slew of other inspiring songs.

Muse, it seems, is everywhere. Does anyone else have a certain band or song that hits that cord for them?

Cover for Kelley Armstrong's Frostbitten

2008-11-19T14:10:00.006-06:00

Look at this beautiful cover I found! Can it be? Yes it is...Kelley Armstrong's next Otherworld installment starring my favorite female werewolf, Elena! She and Eve share a place in my heart as most beloved narrator in the series and I am stoked to see that her story didn't end in childhood like so many others.

If you want to preorder, Frostbitten it is available here.

Through the Halfway Point

2008-11-16T00:31:00.004-06:00

Tonight I finally went over 25,000, hitting the halfway point on schedule. I didn't think I'd make it this weekend to be honest. Too much shit going on.

Pity Party Shall Commence

Thursday we celebrated the approval of my best friend's breast reduction. We had sushi. All was right in the world. Until Friday...

I'm a bit of a self-pitier. I try not to be, but it happens nonetheless. So on Friday, when my director brought us into her office to tell us that all hourly employees were being cut down to 32 hours a week, I got pissed. How could this happen to me? Yeah, they're letting us use vacation if we have it to make up for the 8 hours a week we're missing out on, but that's my vacation!

Then the sensible Jackie piped in. At least I still have a job. I still have my benefits. I have vacation I can use so my paychecks won't be affected. Not everyone is so lucky. Many have already used their vacation. So now, right before Christmas, their paychecks will be 16 hours less than normal. I have nothing to bitch about.

And yet...

This morning I went to get my hair done. I've had to reschedule three times because of money problems, but today was the day. Afterward, I tried to leave and failed miserably because I locked my keys in the car. One of the back doors was unlocked, but the handle is broken so it sat in the parking lot, mocking me. "You can open me...if you figure out how. MUAH HAHA!"

In comes sensible Jackie. At least I have a car, enough money to get my hair done, family to come pick me up. Life is still good.

Pity Party Concludes

So instead of bemoaning my poor fortune, I gave my son a kiss, cuddled with the hubby, and wrote until my eyes hurt. Now I'm going to pass out until the Little Guy wakes up and I start all over again.

And, by the way, my hair looks freaking adorable! Oh, and I'm past 25,000 words! WOOT!

NaNoCat

2008-11-13T14:37:00.003-06:00

Is this not the cutest thing ever???? Thank you, NaNoFolk, for finding this!!

Scream Queens and Not So Squishy Things

2008-11-13T12:46:00.008-06:00

I was looking for a diversion a few nights ago and found a great show on VH-1 called Scream Queens. It's a group of women set out to prove that they have what it takes to be in the next Saw movie and damn is it entertaining. But, even with that distraction, *drum roll please* I hit my next writing goal! Seventy pages!! Woot!

20,411 / 50,000
(40.8%)

How fabulous is that? It's right at the goal for yesterday, so I'm holding onto it dearly because tonight I will officially be behind again. My best friend was approved for her breast reduction (and a cry is heard from the greater breast-obsessed population) so the hubby and I are taking her out for hibachi and sushi. *drools* Okay, so it's a treat for us all, but that's alright by me!

Yes, yes, very boring posts lately. I'M SORRY!! I've been busy. But I did have a passage I'm particularly excited about. I finally got to beat up my heroine! Much excitement, I promise.

I’ll admit I’m a chicken. I have no threshold for pain and I’m afraid of the bogeyman. So I closed my eyes and tensed for the blow. It landed on my side, wrenching a scream from my trembling lips. He’d hit the rib that was injured yesterday. Another blow landed in the same place, another scream, and I was positive he’d broken it this time. I rolled over and curled into a ball, trying to protect my side. Whip! Across my back. Whip! The sound of fabric ripping.

It's not much, but it's the meaning behind it--how badly do you have to piss someone off for them to send an angel to beat you up? Hmm? ; )

52 Pages and Counting

2008-11-09T22:16:00.003-06:00

After yesterday, I didn't think I was going to make my goal for the week. Family came down from Nebraska, the football game was on, we had people over for coffee night...not conducive for a productive weekend.

But today, while Big Guy was napping and Matt was watching Smokin' Aces, I managed to hit the 15,000 mark and then some.

*happy dances* One of my favorite passages?

My demon bodyguard—who so rudely refused to introduce himself—left so I could get ready. I asked him not to hover too closely tonight so he didn't cramp my style. Didn’t even earn me a smile. I’d have to work on my demon entertaining skills.

It may seem totally random, but I really enjoyed the scene. Demons really aren't a huge part of the story, but they're important in the world.

I missed True Blood the first time around, so I'm going to get stuff ready and snuggle in front of TV for the rerun. If one of the TV gods has been listening to me, Amy will suffer a brutal death in this episode.

I hate Kevin Bacon

2008-11-07T22:56:00.003-06:00

Here I was, minding my own business, doing some writing after everyone went to bed, and I saw that Death Sentence was on TV. My husband's told me it's a great movie, so I thought, "Ooh! Kevin Bacon! Great background noise for writing!"

Oh how wrong I was.

I'm crying now dammit. Crying because after his son had this throat slit, he said there like a dumbass screaming, "Help me!" when he had a cellphone in his pocket!! THE BOY COULD HAVE LIVED, KEVIN!! But no...

I know it's only a movie, and in real life I'd probably do the same thing. But come on, Kevin. Give a girl a break.

I HIT 10,000 WORDS!!

2008-11-05T23:14:00.003-06:00

There was no motivation in sight tonight. To cook, clean, do anything, but especially to write. Every distraction I could find I abused. I even OnDemand-ed Hard Candy, a really fucked up movie with Ellen Page of Juno fame. It wasn't until about 9:00 pm that I started, and you know what?

I HIT 10,000 WORDS!!! To many that may not be a lot, but it's a big milestone for me. I'm so sporadic when it comes to writing, that I need structure to get me started. That's why I'm doing NaNoWriMo--so that I have something pushing me to finish this. And not in years, in weeks. God, I'm so excited!

10,127 / 50,000
(20.3%)

(Review) Grimspace by Ann Aguirre

2008-11-05T11:41:00.002-06:00

Tired of hearing me go on and on about NaNo? Yeah, me too. And I realized that I still haven’t posted my review of Grimspace. Such a slacker.

Sci-Fi is generally not my genre of choice. Intergalactic travel and alien life forms just don’t do it for me *except in Christopher Pike’s Season of Passage—that was crazy good and creepy*, but I’d heard really good things about Ann Aguirre so I picked up Grimspace. I wasn’t expecting to like it, but it really surprised me.

Sirantha Jax is a jumper, meaning she can jump spaceships through *in complete layman’s terms* wormholes in order to travel to different planets/areas quicker. She uses a pilot to actually navigate the ship, but it’s her duty to tell him where to go. Well, shit goes bad on a run and she’s blamed for the deaths of her crew, her pilot, and a ton of dignitaries. No bueno indeed.

The power of the story lies in her *warning: cliché moment coming* redemption; not only to others, but to herself. It was heart-warming, and for me to say that is something. I like to see people get blown to bits in books, but in this one I was rooting for folks to live!

Jax’s love interest is March, a man with a dark past. He wasn’t as interesting. I liked him, and I’m excited to read Wanderlust in order to see how their relationship progresses, but he switches from hard-ass who couldn’t give a crap from an action novel to a woe-is-me simpering boy from a romance novel. A slow progression through that change would have been more acceptable, but I feel it occurred too quickly.

My favorite character, though, was Dinah. She’s just this side of crazy and I love her for it.

What I liked best about this book was that it took me a hundred pages to realize it was written in the present tense. That is a miracle. The last book I tried to read *great big emphatic try on that one* in the present tense was put in a garage sale box by page twenty-five. I just couldn’t connect with the story; it was too distracting. But that didn’t happen with Grimspace. It flowed naturally, with no hitches.

Success!

2008-11-04T23:14:00.004-06:00

No, I'm not talking about the election--though that is pretty awesome--I mean the love of my manuscript and the things I accomplished tonight. It's really coming together in my head and on the computer, characters forming better than I could have imagined and the plot twisting in ways I didn't think possible. I'm over my goal for the day, reaching almost 9,000 words. My word count machine is being wonky (or my inability to work a computer is showing itself, either way), but I'll try at work tomorrow to document my narcissism for posterity.

There is a worry born of tonight's success. When the idea for this manuscript came to life, I called it my trilogy. Not that it was necessary going to be three books, but the story would have three main parts. I developed a character who would be seen in the first part, but didn't gain importance until the second part. Well, he's becoming a major piece of the puzzle early on and a member of my critique group voiced how much she liked him. This is a worry because I don't want people to like him that well. I don't want him to be hated, but I think he might overshadow the love interest too much.

The love interest is a naive character who has room to grow throughout the story, but I'm afraid in the process, my readership (i.e. critique group for now) is going to connect more with this surprise character. For the story to work the way I foresee it, this just can't happen! I don't want to commit character assassination, but I don't know what else to do. I'll just have to wait and see how it pans out.

Another minor character demanded to be seen earlier than expected, but that's a plus. She's a bad, bad person, and I enjoyed introducing her for the first time. My protagonist really liked her, so it'll be so much fun when the evil in her is brought into the light.

Aw man, I've become one of "those people"! Never thought I'd be able to say that my characters talk to me. ; ) Oh well, it can't be all bad. This manuscript is far better than my first, so I must be doing something right. I can only hope that when it's finished, other people will feel the same way.

Prizes and cuddles

2008-11-03T23:00:00.006-06:00

Today was the first day I had to balance work, the baby, and my very low writing goal. I really didn't think I was going to make it. Last night I stayed up far too late watching Shoot 'Em Up and this afternoon my day care called and asked me to pick up the Little Guy. He's been running a fever, but today it got over 100 degrees and he started throwing up. When we got home all he wanted to do was cuddle, which was great because he's not a big cuddler. I just hate that he's sick.

Luckily, he's been sleeping really well so far. I woke him up a few hours ago to try and make him eat dinner and had him chug some juice. If he's still running a fever in the morning, we're going to have some mommy time. And finally, I worked on the new book.

5,460 / 50,000
(10.9%)

I'm actually really pleased with my progress. I'm not making it much over the minimum daily goal, but I'm at least getting that and finding out some things about my characters that I didn't know would come up. When I first came up with the idea, I had one resolution solid in my head. Now there are so many options popping up, yelling at me to consider them.

I think the fact that it's just been so much easier with this book than the first one really helps. Yeah, that sounds like a "duh" statement, but I really approached this better. I'm not an organized person and I hate hate HATE outlines, but I started following Lynn Viehl's blog, and she has so many tools for writers that it didn't even seem like I was getting organized, it was a completely painless process. Not only that but *gasp* I wrote a synopsis! Yes, yes, BEFORE the book was done this time! And it only took me an hour!

Seriously, check out her blog. I can't say enough how invaluable the information truly is.